My son has autism. We need to train police officers to help people like him

“I don’t want my child to die,” these words came to my lips at a meeting at my son’s school. I eventually left the meeting in tears.

My son will be entering high school in the fall, and while that may be a joyful transition for some, I am scared. I am scared because he is a black and Mexican boy who presents like a typical teenager and is met with impatience and aggression from those who do not know him.

His behavior could be seen as a threat and the authorities could respond with violence. This concern is not unfounded. Children like my son are seven times more likely to come into contact with the police than “neurotypical” people.

Just one example of how quickly and terribly things can go wrong: In March, sheriff’s officers in San Bernardino County, California, responded to a 911 call from the mother of 15-year-old Ryan Gainer. Ryan, who was diagnosed with autism, reportedly had a seizure and came toward officers with a large gardening tool in his hand. Two officers shot the teenager.

In 2012, while we were stationed in Heidelberg, my military family’s life took an unexpected turn. It was the year my oldest son was diagnosed with autism, sensory processing disorder, and later attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and intermittent explosive disorder.

The diagnosis marked the beginning of a journey full of challenges, but also moments of resilience and growth. I wanted to help him as soon as possible.

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Early intervention became an important part of our family’s daily routine, as he received multiple therapies on a daily basis. In addition, my son received an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), a guide to guide him on his academic journey into adulthood.

Little did we know that our journey would take us across different continents and that unforeseen obstacles would be thrown our way along the way.

My son was denied school attendance

In 2019, military orders took us to MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida. Excited about our new chapter, I set about enrolling my two school-age children at Tinker Elementary, a public school on the base’s grounds. But this seemingly routine task soon devolved into bureaucratic chaos.

After registering, the school administration informed me that my daughter would start school the next day. When registering my son, things were different. I was informed that my son was not enrolled in the same primary school as his sister because of his disability and that the school administration claimed they did not have the resources to accommodate his special needs.

I was shocked and confused. In all the moves my family had made, my son had never been denied school. I was told that he would be sent to a different school because of his disability.

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Seeking advice, I contacted the Exceptional Family Member Program office at MacDill Air Force Base, hoping for support and reassurance that a mistake might have been made. What I found there was disheartening. I was directed to take my concerns to the Army EFMP office, which was over six hours away and in another state.

The unreality of the situation struck me deeply – how could a military family who needed immediate help be left helpless without any support on the ground?

Children have a right to safety and equality in education

The way Hillsborough County, Florida, managed its placement of students with disabilities seemed fundamentally flawed to me. Instead of integrating students like my son into localized schools, decisions were made based on the needs of the district and they were separated from their peers.

The consequences were serious. My son was denied the opportunity to go to school with his siblings and neighbors. This robbed him of the social contact and stability he needed.

Worse yet, because the school district had not comprehensively reviewed his IEP, he was poorly placed in school and did not receive the individualized support he needed.

As I reflect on my experiences, I can’t help but advocate for change. School resource officers at military installations must be equipped with the knowledge and resources to navigate the complexities faced by families like mine. They should serve as allies, navigating the interface between local school laws and military policies to ensure every child is treated equally.

As military families deploy around the world, they should be met with understanding and support along the way, not bureaucratic obstacles. It’s time for systemic change where the needs of exceptional families are not overlooked but prioritized to foster a community where every child can thrive, regardless of their challenges.

I believe that my son’s life is at risk without adequate support services and well-trained security guards and police officers at school. He has a right to safety and equality in education.

Marla Bautista is a military columnist for USA TODAY Opinion.

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