A psychologist explains why solo sex is an overlooked means of self-care

Cultural, religious and societal norms have long portrayed masturbation as a shameful or immoral act, causing many people to feel guilty or embarrassed. This stigma, which is particularly harsh on women, is deeply rooted in historical misconceptions and misinformation that cast self-pleasure in a negative light.

However, solo sex is a natural and healthy part of human sexuality, and incorporating it into your self-care routine can be an empowering practice. Beyond physical pleasure, masturbation offers numerous psychological and physical health benefits.

According to research, there are two powerful benefits of masturbation.

1. It evokes positive emotions in stressful times

A study from 2024, which was International Journal of Sexual Health studied women’s masturbation as a coping strategy and found that higher levels of psychological stress were associated with higher frequency of clitoral self-stimulation. The researchers found that regardless of the type of stimulation, this was a helpful coping strategy that promoted positive emotional states such as happiness and relaxation.

“Masturbation is a safe, free, and accessible form of sexual activity that does not depend on the availability or emotional interaction with another person. As a solo activity, it is less likely to arouse performance or evaluation concerns that can arise during sexual activity with a partner. Instead, women can focus fully on themselves,” the researchers write.

This lack of pressure can be particularly beneficial during stressful times when one already feels overwhelmed by expectations in other areas of their life. It can also promote a sense of empowerment when a person feels out of control of their current circumstances. It serves as a reminder that people are in control of their own bodies and can experience joy and emotional relief regardless of external factors.

Masturbation can also have positive effects on mental and physical health, as it improves mood and helps with stress reduction, sleep and pain management.

2. It helps you connect with your body

Masturbation can play an important role in self-discovery and experiencing bodily autonomy. It allows individuals to explore their bodies, discover what gives them pleasure, and communicate their sexual needs and preferences to their partners. This process promotes a deeper connection with one’s body.

Furthermore, research shows that being “sexually mindful,” meaning being nonjudgmentally aware and fully present during sexual experiences, is associated with greater sexual satisfaction and self-esteem. This underscores the importance of slowing down to build a connection with yourself and your partner.

A 2022 study published in Sexuality and culture In addition, higher masturbation frequency has been found to be associated with lower levels of body shame and body guilt, as well as greater appreciation for one’s body. This healing effect on body image can significantly improve mental health.

Importantly, the researchers of the 2024 study point out that when using masturbation as a coping strategy, it is important to think about the underlying motive for using it. It is more beneficial to actively use it as a self-care tool alongside other emotional coping strategies than to simply use it as a distraction during stressful times without confronting one’s own challenges.

Solo sex is a natural and beneficial practice that should be recognized as a valuable means of self-care. By addressing and breaking down the stigma around masturbation, we can pave the way for a more informed and accepting societal attitude towards it. It’s time to break the silence, have honest conversations about sexual health and wellness, and honor the role masturbation plays in our well-being.

Curious about your attitude toward your own sexuality? Try this scale to gain a deeper understanding: Short scale on sexual attitudes