What is autosexual? 2 experts explain it

In the ever-evolving spectrum of human sexuality, there are terms like heterosexual, homosexual, queer, demisexual, and pansexual that help us describe and capture attractions. These labels help us navigate our own experiences and communicate our desires as we date and discover ourselves. Among these familiar terms, a rather unusual orientation has been on the rise lately on Google and in TikTok videos: autosexuality.

Autosexuality essentially means that someone is more attracted to themselves than to other people. (It can also be called “self-sexual.”) Because this term has caused debate and confusion, autosexuality is the subject of various misconceptions. To understand what this orientation really entails, we consulted experts to understand what exactly autosexuality is – and what it isn’t.

Experts featured in this article

Casey Tanner, MA, LCPC (she/her) is a certified sex therapist, LELO sex expert, and author of Feel It All.

Michelle Forcier MD, MPH (she/it) is a primary care pediatrician specializing in clinical care and education on gender, sexuality, and reproductive justice. Dr. Forcier is also a clinician at FOLX Health.

Autosexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person is primarily attracted to themselves, Michelle Forcier, MD, MPH, tells PS. “This can include sexual attraction and arousal due to visual or manual stimulation of one’s self,” says Dr. Forcier. “A person who is primarily sexually stimulated by viewing nude pictures or videos of themselves, fantasizing about themselves, or masturbation and other sexual pleasure gratifications alone is autosexual.”

Because there is little to no research on autosexuality, Dr. Forcier says we can’t say for sure how common it really is. What we do know is that autosexual people may fall somewhere on the spectrum of asexuality, a sexual orientation that describes those who experience very little to no sexual attraction.

One of the biggest misconceptions autosexuals face is the assumption that they are not interested in relationships. Sex therapist Casey Tanner explains that autosexuality, like all orientations, is a spectrum and many autosexuals are perfectly capable of entering into relationships if they so choose: “Autosexuality does not preclude someone from becoming sexually, emotionally, or romantically involved with others. Many autosexuals experience their self-attraction alongside other sexual and romantic orientations.”

Tanner adds, “While some autosexual people enter into relationships with others within the framework of polyamory (since the primary relationship is with themselves), others may continue to have monogamous relationships.”

Autosexuality, like all sexualities, doesn’t have strict guidelines, as people can identify with the label in different ways. Having a strong attraction to oneself doesn’t automatically preclude the possibility of also being attracted to or seeking relationships with others. For some, however, the idea of ​​self-attraction can be confusing, and they may even be misunderstood as narcissism. In most cases, it’s the opposite. Tanner explains, “Many people who learn about autosexuality assume it arises from narcissism, or a desire to put oneself above or at the expense of others. In reality, many autosexual people find that the practice of loving, courting, and rooting in oneself actually allows for deeper connections across the board.”

Tanner says partners of autosexual people are quick to assume they are being devalued or even struggle with their own sense of sexual safety. However, Tanner adds, “Through open conversations, partners doing their own research and building trust over time, these assumptions can be disproved as a new understanding of autosexuality emerges in the relationship.”

The more attention the term receives, the more familiar we become with the common identities and behaviors associated with it. Due to a lack of resources on the term, autosexuals who are in a relationship may experience stigma from a partner who may not fully understand what autosexuality really is. However, it is important to recognize that autosexuality is a highly individual experience and will look and feel different for everyone who identifies with the term. This is also why it can be confusing to determine if this is a label that fits your desires.

If you think autosexuality might play a role in your sexuality, there are a few things to look out for. Dr. Forcier recommends asking yourself, “Who am I sexually attracted to and what turns me on?” If you find that the answer mostly points to yourself – your own image, your fantasies, or your physicality – then you may be autosexual.

Dr. Forcier adds that masturbation can be a useful tool for discovering your desires and what exactly gives you pleasure. Likewise, Tanner shares that while not every autosexual person feels no sexual attraction to others, a telltale sign might be that you’re more likely to become aroused and/or reach orgasm when you fantasize about yourself (as opposed to others).

Figuring out if the term fits you will take some time and may even be something you discover over time. “As with any sexual orientation, autosexuals are not a monolith. The way people experience and practice autosexuality varies and can change throughout life,” says Tanner.

To understand autosexuality, it is important to recognize that each person has a unique experience and that self-attraction can coexist with a range of other emotional and romantic possibilities. As research on autosexuality continues to grow, it is important that we create an open and accepting space for those exploring this part of their identity.

Jillian Angelini (she/her) is a sexual wellness and lifestyle journalist who has contributed to PS, Bustle, Betches, MindBodyGreen, and more. She runs the queer advice column “The B Spot” on Betches.com and especially enjoys writing about sex, relationships, and all things related to the queer experience.