Mothers have led the movement against sexual violence

Mothers of survivors and mothers who are survivors themselves have advocated for change in the face of sexual violence. Three notable examples—Lucy Tibbs, Oleta “Lee” Kirk Abrams, and Tarana Burke—have played critical roles in shaping the movement through resilience and advocacy.

Lucy Tibbs: One of the first to testify

In 1866, Lucy Tibbs was pregnant with her third child. Her house was broken into and she was raped and robbed, all in front of her children. This was part of the Memphis Massacre – a three-day massacre in Memphis, Tennessee, led by a white mob including police and firefighters. 46 black residents died, 285 were injured, over 100 were robbed and five rapes were reported. A total of 91 houses, eight schools and four churches were burned down.

Tibbs survived the massacre, but her brother, a Union soldier, was killed. A month later, she decided to testify publicly about what she had seen and suffered. During her testimony, she was questioned by the US House of Representatives Select Committee about the rape. She was also required to provide her name and full address, putting her at enormous risk of retaliation.

The house was full of men. I thought they were going to kill me.

Lucy Tibbs

Tibbs, along with the four other women raped during the massacre, were the first victims of sexual violence to testify publicly. Her testimony before Congress played a critical role in changing views on sexual violence and increasing support for laws protecting the civil rights of newly emancipated blacks through the passage of the 14th Amendment.

A mother of two who was pregnant with her third child, Tibbs was one of the first people to speak out against sexual violence. By standing up for herself, her family and her community, she made a major contribution against sexual violence. Years later, another mother followed her example.

Read Lucy Tibbs’ testimony documented by the United States House of Representatives in House Documents Volumes 223-224.

Oleta “Lee” Kirk Abrams: The first U.S. rape crisis center

In 1971, Oleta “Lee” Kirk Abrams learned that her daughter had been raped while attending Berkeley High School. The police kept her daughter at the police station and did not allow her to call or see her family. She was then separated from her family again at the hospital and had to wait for over an hour. When she finally saw a doctor, he made jokes and didn’t check her for pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

“She was treated like a piece of meat. There was no compassion, nothing to help deal with the emotions,” Abrams said.

Abrams was so angry that she teamed up with two friends and founded Bay Area Women Against Rape (BAWAR) – the first rape crisis center in the United States. The center had a two-part goal: “to create a place where survivors of sexual violence can receive the quality counseling and advocacy they need and to educate the community about these issues.”

Today, the center provides thousands of survivors with a 24-hour rape crisis hotline, counseling, educational programs and survivor advocacy services.

By advocating for her daughter and becoming active in her community, Abrams had a major impact on the movement against sexual violence. Bay Area Women Against Rape was the first nonprofit organization dedicated to sexual violence and inspired many others.

Tarana Burke: #MeToo

In 2006, Tarana Burke founded #MeToo and shared her story as a survivor. Burke was an activist and advocate for many years before #MeToo. In 2003, she founded Just BE Inc., a nonprofit organization focused on the health, wellness and wholeness of young women of color. She did this while raising her child.

Burke often speaks about motherhood and sexual violence. “We don’t talk enough about how difficult it is for parents of survivors of child sexual abuse. This is a difficult, difficult place to be,” she said.

“My daughter was sexually abused when she was five years old. I knew in my body when it was happening. I could feel it. I felt it.”

Burke said her child didn’t tell her until she was 11 years old.

Our children are so desperate not to get into trouble that they end up feeling complicit in their own abuse. This is what happened to me and this is what happened to my daughter.

Tarana Burke

Burke explains that she and many other parents often try to protect their children by teaching them things like “Don’t go out with strangers” and “Don’t let anyone touch your private parts.”

“I think we fail to add the caveat that it is not your fault if any of these rules are broken. It’s never the child’s fault.”

“From 5 to 11 I kept asking the wrong questions: ‘Has anyone ever touched you?’ Has anyone ever laid their hands on you?'” she continued. “My daughter kept saying ‘no’ because she thought saying ‘yes’ would also show that she had broken a rule. … Our children are desperate not to get into trouble that they end up feeling complicit in their own abuse. This is what happened to me and this is what happened to my daughter.”

This experience led Burke to develop comprehensive training, workshops and educational materials for parents. These lessons have been used by thousands of parents across the country and beyond.

As a mother and survivor, Burke shows how important it is for mothers of survivors to advocate for their children. Her commitment to combating sexual violence against her child and her community has developed into international action.

Burke, Abrams and Tibbs are some of the many mothers of survivors and survivors who have long led the movement to end sexual violence.

Today we thank mothers for their work leading the movement to end sexual violence. For far too long they have had to protect themselves, advocate for their community and lead the national movement. We must all take responsibility to end sexual violence.

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