Druze women find a balance between sexual health, pleasure and tradition

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July 12, 2024

Sex education is still a very controversial topic: while some people believe it is essential to teach young people about sex and sexuality in school, others argue that this is inappropriate and that it should be left to parents to talk to their children about it. Having “the talk” can be uncomfortable and embarrassing, and it becomes difficult when you are part of a small, close-knit community like the Druze, one of the largest religious groups in the Levant.

There are just over a million Druze worldwide. They live mainly in Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Jordan and Palestine, but there are also communities in the United States, Canada, Europe and Latin America.

“We are a community where when I hear someone’s last name, I can place them: what country they’re from, who their family is, who their relatives are,” says Deena Naime, a Druze born and raised in the U.S. “And I think that’s very important because when you come from a community like that, it also has a big impact on things like sexuality, sexual identity and sex education.”

Being part of a community where everyone knows everyone makes these conversations difficult. Naime says: “Whatever you want to know or need to know or express and share, most of the time you can’t do it without the luxury of anonymity,” says Naime. “Anonymity is very important. There has to be a high level of trust to be able to have these conversations without anonymity. That trust usually develops between women when they start having certain conversations. But in our community, that’s not always possible because often a family member is present.”

The Druze are a small religious and ethnic group with a rich history and cultural heritage. Their beliefs originated in Egypt and can be traced back to the 11th century. They have been influenced by many religious sources, including the Quran, Christian and Jewish scriptures, and Greek philosophy. Since then, they have developed into a unique group rooted in traditions and a strong sense of community. Most of their beliefs and practices are kept secret from outsiders in order to preserve their religious heritage.

“The Druze community is very close-knit. You are born into the community. If someone wanted to convert, they couldn’t. That’s partly why we are such a small group. It also comes from a background of persecution. And that’s why we have a kind of secret identity,” explains Naime.

“Sex education is not discussed”

Although the Druze community has an egalitarian attitude towards men and women in matters such as marriage, divorce and inheritance, their views on women’s bodies and sexuality are conservative and influenced by a traditional way of life, although they vary depending on the generation and the country in which they live.

“We are a community that is very honor-based. And one aspect of how we experience honor is what I call female ‘purity’ or ‘innocence’: theoretically, girls in our community are expected to remain virgins until they are married,” says Naime. “But that is an outdated belief. It does not apply to younger generations or in general. In that respect, it is again similar to other religious communities: it is an idea, but it is not legitimized. People do not go along with it.”

“Sex education is not really talked about. Girls are expected to figure it out over time. My experience is different because I was raised and educated in the United States. Like most Druze girls in the diaspora, I received education about sexual wellness and health in school.”

Noor Jaber was different. She is a Druze public health expert living in Lebanon, where sex education in schools is considered inappropriate. Although there was an attempt to introduce a comprehensive program for young people between the ages of 12 and 14 in 1995, the plan was withdrawn after criticism from several political and religious groups.

“There are several programs running haphazardly, but the government is not doing anything. My parents know the importance of sex education, and my mother educated me about sex and menstruation,” she says. “But I find that many young girls in my community, when they enter puberty, are not aware of this basic physiological phenomenon that they go through every month – they have no idea about it.”

The impact on women’s health

“A woman’s sexual and reproductive health comes with many challenges, especially when it has nothing to do with marriage and reproduction,” explains Jaber. “It’s a taboo subject. Issues like endometriosis, for example. It’s very difficult for single women to find information and get treatment. Without a safe place to discuss and ask questions, women are afraid they will be shamed or blamed if they talk about sexual health.”

Jaber shares her personal experience to illustrate how difficult this can be. “As a health professional, I know that even if I am not married or sexually active, I should go to the gynecologist for a check-up once a year. I always freaked out. The first question the doctor’s assistant asked was, ‘Are you married?’ Then I felt like What should I say to her? No matter what I tell her, she shouldn’t use this question as an excuse to judge whether or not I’m eligible for this ministry. And because the assistant is from the church, you feel this extra pressure – if I open up, she would go and talk. They are not trusted, there is no confidentiality. And this is coming from someone who is educated. Other women wouldn’t even try to use the ministry.”

“The lack of comprehensive sex education can cause many psychological problems. It affects your body image and the way you make certain decisions about your body,” she explains. “When they get married, many women suffer from vaginismus because they are so afraid of their first sexual experience. Their body starts reacting involuntarily as if it were a traumatic experience and they have no right to really enjoy it because it is ‘haram’ or shameful.”

“Women are also unaware of the dangerous signs and do not seek support or treatment that could prevent many problems such as breast or ovarian cancer. The fact that we do not talk about it means that they may not receive the diagnosis until a very late stage, when it is too late to intervene.”

Breaking the silence about sexuality and health

The Internet has played an important role in the sex education of young Druze. For Jaber, it is an opportunity to create a safe space for young girls and women.

To make a change and break the stigma around sexual health, Jaber founded NAWAT to help young girls and women in her community get information and make informed decisions about their bodies, sexuality and relationships. It is a digital platform in English and Arabic that offers educational courses on sexual and reproductive health and connects women with experts anonymously and confidentially.

“I want to change the discourse around sex education and make it more pleasure-based,” says Jaber. “Pleasure is the most important motivation for having sex. But many of us have learned about sex and our sexuality through negative messages based on fear and shame. So prevention is still important, but dealing with the risks of unsafe sexual behavior is not the only way to talk about sex. Enjoying sex and ensuring women’s health and rights are important.”

“We also want to include a holistic aspect and incorporate both traditional and alternative medical approaches,” adds Jaber. “For example, if a woman has endometriosis, she needs to understand how her body works and what is clinically causing it. But how can we consider the psychological aspects to support her on that journey? How can we consider the physical aspects, like exercise or diet? Rather than looking at her sexual and reproductive health as a disease and a cure, it’s more about looking at the overall quality of how a woman deals with it in her day-to-day life.”

“Women build their own care network”

Naime is working on a PhD on how women in Druze communities create spaces of intimacy and care, and explains the impact that access to safe online spaces has on younger generations.

“This is something that is changing drastically in our society. Women are very interested in making a change in terms of sex education,” says Naime. They are starting these conversations not only with their own children, but also with their peers and friends. There are also a lot of conversations going on right now, even between women and men, where women are advocating for more sex education and more awareness of sexual health and wellbeing.”

“The number is increasing significantly across generations,” Naime continues. “For example, I see a difference between the way older women educated their daughters about things like menstruation and the way women today educate their children about their periods and cycle.”

“Part of that is because information is more accessible today – that’s really important,” she adds. “We’re at a point where we understand women’s sexual health differently than ever before. People are realizing that women’s bodies are different, and that’s reflected in our community.”

“Druze education, both in terms of Druze studies and education within the Druze community, is experiencing a rapid upsurge right now,” Naime concluded. “It’s a really pivotal time for the Druze community right now, where a lot of these things are coming to the surface and people are doing this work. It’s an exciting time because a lot of these changes are happening, and that’s wonderful.”

This story was originally published in Nadja (UAE) and is being republished as part of the Network for human journalism Programme, supported by the ICFJ, International Centre for Journalists.

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Alia Chebbab is co-founder of NADJA Mediaan independent digital media startup that campaigns for greater and fairer representation of women in the media. She has reported on women’s participation in politics, the arts and sport, climate change, sexism and inequality, and disability and women’s rights. She previously worked for the BBC and now lives in Dubai.

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