When survivors of childhood sexual abuse are not believed

Learn why caregivers fail to support children who report abuse and its consequences.

Andrea Robin Skinner, the daughter of the late Canadian author and Nobel Prize winner Alice Munro, wrote an essay in the Toronto Star describing how she was sexually abused by her stepfather in 1976. Her story of sexual abuse within the family is sadly not uncommon, but what shocked many was Skinner’s description that when she told her mother in 1992, Munro acted “as if she had found out about an affair” and returned to her husband, with whom she remained until his death, causing an irreparable rift between mother and daughter. Many cannot understand how a celebrated and respected author who wrote about trauma could not stand by her own daughter.

Why would a non-abusive parent not believe or fail to adequately support their child after disclosure of abuse by their partner?

This is a complex question, and answers may vary from person to person. There has been little recent research on this question, and many of the studies that do exist have small samples. Most focus on the role of mothers, since the perpetrator is often the stepfather or biological father. In cases of domestic child abuse within the family, an estimated 15 to 35 percent of non-abusing parents do not believe some aspect of their child’s testimony.

• A study of ten mothers found that those mothers who were rated as “unsupportive” toward their children after disclosing their information held stronger patriarchal cultural or religious beliefs and values, which led them to remain in contact with the abusive partner.
• Several studies have shown that mothers are more likely to believe their children if the perpetrator is the biological father or a distant relative than if it is the boyfriend or stepfather.
• Economic and/or emotional dependence on the abusive parent was also found to be associated with disbelief or unsupportive responses.
• The results regarding the age and gender of the child are not clear, but some studies have found that mothers are more likely to believe younger children and boys than adolescent girls.
• Other studies have found that a weak bond between mother and child can lead to disbelief or lack of support.
• There is also speculation that the perpetrators engage in a form of “family initiation,” meaning that they sexually abuse not only the child but also innocent family members. This increases the likelihood that the abuse will not be discovered or believed.

What happens when children are not believed or are not given adequate support when they report sexual abuse by others?

There are many negative long-term consequences of sexual abuse, but research suggests that these are made worse when a survivor speaks out and does not receive support.

• Parental support after victim disclosure has always been linked to the adjustment of sexually abused children, such that children who are believed and supported have better long-term outcomes.
• A recent meta-analysis found that this association was not as strong as previously thought, but perhaps this was due to the way the support was designed. That is, perhaps the long-term effects depended less on whether or not the child was believed than on the quality of the parent’s attachment to the child and the child’s perception of the parent-child relationship.
• However, the worst consequences occur when the child discloses the abuse, nothing is done and the child remains in the abusive situation.

Therefore, it is imperative that children who have experienced abuse receive support from their caregivers. The quality of this support should be at the heart of the healing process.