Men’s reluctance to talk about porn use is associated with lower sexual satisfaction

A study of heterosexual couples found that men were more likely to avoid conversations about problematic pornography use than they were to avoid conversations about division of household chores or alcohol consumption. This tendency was not observed among women – they avoided conversations about pornography as well as other topics that could cause conflict. The study was published in Psychology & Sexuality.

Pornography refers to various sexually explicit materials, including videos, images, or text, created to sexually arouse viewers or readers. These materials are considered taboo in many cultures because their explicit nature challenges social norms regarding sexuality and morality. Concerns about pornography also arise from its potential impact on issues such as objectification, exploitation, and the impact on relationships and values.

Despite these taboos, pornography is widespread around the world, especially among men. A 2020 survey in the United States found that 94% of men and 87% of women have viewed pornography at least once in their lives. On average, the age of first encounter with pornography was 14 for men and 18 for women. Studies also show that men are more likely to use pornography when their sexual satisfaction is lower and declining. In contrast, women’s pornography consumption is not related to the sexual satisfaction of themselves or their partner.

Study author Uzma S. Rehman and her colleagues wanted to examine how much partners talk about pornography use or how much they avoid communicating about this topic. They wanted to understand where communication about pornography stands compared to communication about other topics that could cause conflict between romantic partners. To investigate this, they conducted two studies.

The goal of the first study was to develop a method to assess topic avoidance. The researchers searched the literature to compile a list of topics commonly avoided by couples. They asked 94 Amazon MTurk employees to rate the breadth of each of these topics. Based on their responses and the initial list of topics, they created the Topic Avoidance Questionnaire, which included 8 topics that couples commonly avoid discussing. Pornography consumption was one of these topics.

The goal of the second study was to examine how much couples avoid conversations about pornography compared to the other seven topics couples tend to avoid. They predicted that men, but not women, would be more likely to avoid discussions about pornography than other topics.

Study participants included 191 people in committed relationships recruited through Amazon’s MTurk. Participants’ average age was 35 years, and they had been with their partners for an average of 9 years. Participants completed tests measuring relationship satisfaction (Quality of Marriage Index), sexual satisfaction (Global Measure of Sexual Satisfaction), pornography consumption (“How much pornography do you currently consume?”), and the Avoidance Questionnaire (developed in Study 1).

Results showed that participants who avoided conversations about pornography also tended to avoid conversations about other topics. The overall quality of their communication with their partner tended to be lower. Men were more likely to avoid conversations about pornography than conversations about sexual activities, how much time they spend with family, how much money they save, how they divide housework, and how they drink alcohol. However, they were no more likely to avoid conversations about pornography than conversations about how much money they spend or their partner’s tone of voice. Women were no more likely to avoid conversations about pornography than other topics.

Men who were less satisfied with their sexual relationship tended to avoid the topic of pornography more. This connection was not evident in women.

“The current study demonstrated the crucial role of topic avoidance when examining the interaction between pornography consumption, gender, and sexual satisfaction. The results show that both men and women tend to avoid the topic of pornography, and this is particularly true for men. In men, the association between pornography topic avoidance and sexual satisfaction remained significant even after controlling for pornography consumption and a general tendency to avoid potentially conflicting topics,” the study authors concluded.

The study sheds light on communication about pornography among couples. However, it should be noted that all study participants were MTurk participants, a group that may not be representative of the U.S. population. In addition, the study was based on self-reports, which presents the possibility of reporting bias and thus affecting the results.

The authors of the article “Let’s not talk about it: Exploring the interpersonal context of pornography use by examining patterns of communicative avoidance” are Uzma S. Rehman, David A. Herman, Chantal Gautreaua, and Jessica Edwards.