“Incident reports” from a theme park where something went wrong

Previously: “Slashertown”.

I love a good theme park. And I also love a good horror story. So I’m thrilled to present to you Incident Reports, a theme park creepypasta that made me laugh the first time I read it – and has done so every time I’ve read it since.

Why so many readings? Because it goes quickly. Reminds me of “A few suggestions,” “Incident Reports”, which was uploaded to the Creepypasta Wiki in October 2013 (eons ago, in Internet time) by user Fierce DeityX1, is classified as a micropasta – that is, a creepypasta of about 300 words. (This one has 316 words, for the curious.) The micropasta format requires great economy in storytelling; you have limited space, so you must Really Be precise in what you say.

(Like what you read? Check out Dangerous games in the dark, now available from Chronicle Books!)

Often this also means that we feel the burden of what you not say. Implication is king; the micropasta format is often a great example of how what we not see in a story can be so much more effective than what we Do see.

What exactly went wrong at the theme park in Incident Reports? It’s hard to say, but whatever it is, it’s truly a film for the ages.

Tickets, please.

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Incident: A trip was cancelled, everyone was understanding.

Incident: A crazy man was running through the park screaming: “IT’S CURSED!”

Incident: IT’S CURSED.

Incident: IT’S CURSED.

Incident: IT’S CURSED.

Incident: I had to call security because of the crazy guy, he kept writing “IT’S CURSED”.

Incident: I found some blood on a ride today, probably someone has a bloody nose. We cleaned it up.

Incident: More blood on a seat.

Continue reading…

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(Photo via RachelBostwick/Pixabay)