Ken Hoffman’s Favorite Houston Hooters Among Dozens Closed Nationwide

Hooters abruptly announced Sunday the closure of dozens of its restaurants across the country, including several in Texas, including Wichita Falls, Bryan, Seabrook and McAllen. “Permanently closed” signs hung on their front doors.

It’s understandable. When Mermaids opened its first restaurant in 1983 in Clearwater, Florida and quickly spread its wings across the country, there was little competition in selling wings. Their waitresses, called Hooters Girls, became a national phenomenon, much like the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, selling sexiness and wholesomeness.

Operating restaurants is a tricky business. According to the National Restaurant Association, approximately 60 percent of restaurants fail within their first year and 80 percent fail within five years.

Successful restaurants face competition from copycats, and Hooters have faced challenges from wing joints like Buffalo Wild Wings, Pluckers, Bombshells, Dream Wings, Big City Wings, Wings-N-Things, Twin Peaks and Wingstop. And that’s just in Houston. Thousands of other side restaurants have popped up nationwide. Even pizza chains are putting wings on their menu.

So it was no surprise that Hooters announced the closure of several of its restaurants. A difficult matter.

But wait. Hooters on Kirby and the Southwest Freeway were on the list of closed restaurants. This is/was my favorite Hooters. I guess the “was” is one of the reasons he was on the chopping block.

Hooters Company Statement:

Like many restaurants under pressure from current market conditions, Hooters has made the difficult decision to close a number of underperforming stores. Ensuring the well-being of our staff is our priority in these rare cases. With the opening of new Hooters restaurants nationally and internationally, the launch of new Hooters frozen products in grocery stores, and the expansion of the Hooters footprint into new markets with corporate and franchise locations, this brand of 41 remains very resilient and relevant. We look forward to continuing to serve our customers at home, on the go and in our restaurants here in the United States and around the world.

Coach of the Year

I have fond memories of Hooters on Kirby and the Southwest Freeway. When I coached Little League, I often took my team to Hooters after games. Talk about a motivator. The kids loved this place. By the way, Hooters restaurants offer a children’s menu.

I would give the boys a choice. Did they want to go to Dairy Queen, McDonald’s, a pizza place or Hooters? You know which one they chose every time. My assistant coaches made the unanimous vote.

One day, one of the moms on the team told me she didn’t think it was appropriate for me to take the kids to Hooters. She said the waitresses were underdressed. I asked him, have you ever been to Hooters? The Hooters Girls are wearing more clothes and are more covered up than she was right now. Not a fan of flip flops.

Hooters Girls wear T-shirts, bras, shorts, tights, socks and sneakers. Cheerleaders at sports games and runners at Memorial Park wear fewer clothes than Hooters Girls. Have you been to Galveston Beach?

And cheerleaders don’t usually smell like fried chicken wings.

Kayfabe

Then there was the time I wrestled a few matches for Texas All-Star Wrestling in Humble. I asked one of the Kirby Hooters Girls to be my valet.

I was supposed to meet a wrestler named Bonez when I first started. Before the match, I told Bonez it was okay if he beat me pretty good, but don’t hit me in the head. The Hooters Girl escorted me to the ring.

Before the bell rang, while I was on my knees praying, Bonez ran across the ring and kicked me in the head, knocking me unconscious.

The place has gone crazy. The Hooters Girl came into the ring, leaned over me, took my pulse and screamed… “He’s dead!”

Security brought a stretcher to the ring and I was taken back to the locker room, with my valet crying hysterically. Show business.