Alice Munro’s daughter sheds light on childhood sexual abuse by speaking out: experts

The organization that Alice Munro’s daughter credits with helping her come to terms with childhood sexual abuse says her courage to speak out sheds light on an issue that does not receive enough public attention.

Andrea Robin Skinner told her firsthand story of sexual abuse that began at the age of nine at the hands of her stepfather, Gerald Fremlin, in an essay published Sunday in the Toronto Star. She wrote of the pain she felt when her mother decided to stay at Fremlin after learning about the abuse – and the silence that surrounded her trauma.

Skinner said her voice was finally heard decades later at Toronto’s Gatehouse, a volunteer-run organization dedicated to helping survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

“It was incredibly brave of Andrea to go public and tell her story,” Arthur Lockhart, founder of The Gatehouse, said in an interview on Monday.

“Andrea’s voice has brought attention to a deep problem in our culture,” he said. “We so often fail to pay attention to people who have been sexually abused.”

According to Maria Barcelos, executive director of The Gatehouse, it is unfortunately “quite common” for parents of abused children to ignore the trauma they share with their child as adults, just as Skinner says Munro does.

“My mother reacted as if she had learned of an affair. I felt that she was working hard to forgive me,” Skinner said in her essay, describing Munro’s reaction to a letter she finally wrote to her when she was 25, telling her about the abuse.

Barcelos said Skinner’s experience shows how survivors struggle to find a “safe” place to open up.

“As a survivor, (Andrea) felt invalidated and silenced by her family,” she said. “We are dealing with a culture of shame and not knowing how to get support after the incident of child abuse.”

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse are vulnerable to a variety of mental and physical health problems due to misplaced feelings of shame and guilt, Barcelos said, including suicide and suicide attempts.

They often suffer from nightmares and anxiety. Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia and overeating are common, as are alcohol and drug use, as survivors try to “cope with feelings of shame, guilt, fear (and) neglect,” she said.

Many survivors end up in dysfunctional relationships, which can mean “jumping from one relationship to the next, searching for love and affection,” Barcelos says.

Survivors of sexual abuse are also at least twice as likely to experience domestic violence as others, she added.

According to a report by Statistics Canada, about 27 percent of Canadians in a 2018 survey reported being victims of abuse in their childhood before the age of 15 – including at least one case of physical or sexual abuse by an adult.

Men who were sexually abused as children often face “gender bias” that causes others to doubt that it could have happened to them, Lockhart said.

This leads to “incredible self-doubt, an incredible disbelief that there must be something wrong with me because I am a good person,” he said.

Sexual abuse can drastically change the lives of children and drive some into homelessness because life on the streets is safer than at home, Lockhart said.

Governments and society need to work much harder to create an environment where children can recognise that what is happening to them is abuse and not normal, and make it clear to children that they can get help, he said.

In Ontario, The Gatehouse is advocating for the passage of Bill 123, which would require school boards to provide students with age-appropriate information on how to recognize child sexual abuse and report it to a trusted adult.

In addition, more government resources are needed to provide services across the country to support people who have suffered childhood sexual abuse, Barcelos said.

Clementine Morrigan, a Montreal-based author who studies trauma, childhood sexual abuse and incest and is herself an abuse survivor, agreed. She said that having public health insurance cover such programs would make a big difference.

“If we want justice for sexually abused children, we need to give survivors what they really need to heal. That would be, for example, free access to trauma therapy,” said Morrigan.

WHERE TO GET HELP

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 988. Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

If you are in a crisis, call 911 or your local emergency response center.

To reach the Gatehouse, call 416-255-5900, extension 222.

– With files from Nicole Thompson

Canadian Press health reporting is supported through a partnership with the Canadian Medical Association. CP is solely responsible for this content.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published July 8, 2024.