The best sex positions for people over 60, according to sex experts

As we get older, it’s natural for our bodies, minds and daily routines to change. And these changes also bring about changes in our sexuality.

But different doesn’t necessarily mean bad. It’s entirely possible to have satisfying sex when you’re over 60 and beyond, even if it’s not the same kind of sex you had when you were younger.

For some, this may mean trying out different sex positions that suit their current body and capabilities, while also exploring other intimate acts that don’t necessarily involve penetration.

“As we get older, it’s not about being able to perform the same sexual activities we used to,” clinical sexologist and sex educator Lawrence Siegel told HuffPost, “but about finding positions and speeds that are more comfortable and make the act of sex more enjoyable.”

“When sex is painful or unpleasant, it leads to disappointment and avoidance, which affects the quality of life of both the individual and the couple,” he added.

With these expert tips, sex after 60 will be even more enjoyable.

Finding ways to be more present and comfortable in your body and less caught up in your thoughts can make sex much more pleasurable at any age.

“All people who enjoy sex throughout their lives report being able to enjoy life in their bodies first and foremost,” says sex therapist Nan Wise, author of Why Good Sex Matters. “Instead of thinking so much about how our bodies appear to others, the ability to feel connected to the sensations in our bodies and to appreciate all that is OK with our bodies, rather than focusing on how we think our bodies should look and feel, is the key to lifelong sexual potential.”

We asked sex experts which positions they recommend for people over 60.

Modified Missionary

The modified missionary position is a variation of the tried and tested sex position.

In the classic missionary position, the receiving partner lies flat on their back while the penetrating partner lies on top of them and they face each other. In this variation of the missionary position, the receiving partner lies on their back with their legs in the air and places a pillow under their lower back. This is a great option if the standard missionary position puts too much pressure on the penetrating partner’s hips or back, said sex therapist Jesse Kahn.

“When lying on a bed, the penetrating partner stands at the edge of the bed. This gives the lying partner additional support, while the standing partner can use more of their body instead of primarily their hips,” Kahn, the director of the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City, told HuffPost.

69ing

Sixty-nining is when two partners give and receive oral sex at the same time. The inverted position of the two bodies – her face at your genitals, your face at her genitals – looks a bit like the numbers 6 and 9, hence the name.

Traditionally, 69 is practiced with one partner lying on their back and the other on top, straddling their partner’s face. However, you can also do it lying on your side, facing each other.

“You can experiment with positions that are tailored to each person’s needs, such as one partner lying on top of the other or the side 69,” Kahn said. “The side 69 reduces stress on the joints and the body because both partners are lying on their sides and have to keep themselves upright. Of course, a soft surface, such as a bed, can also provide more comfort and reduce stress on the body.”

The speed bump

For the speed bump you will need a regular pillow or a sex wedge if you have one.

The speed bump, also known as “assisted entry from behind,” is a position where the receiving partner lies on their stomach with a pillow (wedge-shaped pillows can be helpful here) under their hips, while the penetrating partner lies on top in tabletop position and enters from behind.

“This position allows the bottom partner to control the depth and angle of penetration,” Siegel said. “It can also be easier to hit the G-spot, and there is more control for those who find deep penetration either pleasurable or uncomfortable. There can also be additional stimulation of the clitoris or penis by rubbing against the pillow or cushion underneath.”

For a non-penetrative variation, you can place the person on top face down on the back of the partner below.

“This can be especially fun if you add a good massage oil and it’s all about rubbing the bodies together, and there doesn’t have to be any penetration at all,” Siegel said.

“In situations where both partners have vulvas, this position allows the person on top to rub their clitoris and vulva on the buttocks of the person below. It can also be an ideal position for strap-on play, even if there are no physical limitations.”

Doggy style

In doggy style, the receiving partner gets on all fours and the penetrating partner kneels and enters them from behind. Kahn recommends this style for people with limited mobility and hip pain, but notes that it may not be as comfortable for people with certain types of back pain.

For additional support, the receiving partner can also try placing a pillow (or sex wedge, if available) under their pelvic area.

“In this position, you can also experiment with the position of your legs, for example sitting with your legs wide apart, depending on the needs of each body,” said Kahn.

Spoons

The spooning position is a great option, even if actual intercourse is not on the agenda.

When spooning “bBoth partners lie on their sides facing the same direction, with the back of one partner resting against the front of the other,” explained Siegel.

The advantage of this position: It allows you to try out many different types of stimulation without much physical effort, he said, such as “Reach for your partner’s breasts, vulva, penis or stomach and play with them, holding them while you press against them,” Siegel said.

“This could be a good position to penetrate your partner’s vagina or anus, or simply slide your penis between your partner’s thighs when full intercourse is not desired. This may be helpful for those with limited mobility, knee or back pain, or upper body weakness.”

Remember that sex doesn’t have to be based on genital penetration to be fun. For many older adults, “it’s about sharing intimacy, affection and emotional satisfaction,” Siegel said.