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Abby experienced the connection between porn and violence. It was scary’

Theo

The story is about domestic violence.
When Abby was in her late 20s, she woke up to her partner watching “extremely violent pornography” in bed next to her.
“I had no self-esteem,” Abby, who did not want to use her real name, told SBS News.
“I knew he would re-enact things from the porn he watched on me.
“He called me horrible names during sex. It was humiliating and frightening.”

“I was afraid of refusing. I was afraid he would become physically violent if I refused.”

He called me horrible names during sex. It was humiliating and scary

Abby (not her real name)

Abby was in a relationship with her former partner for five years and said it was his increased over time.
“He was very jealous at the beginning of our relationship. He texted my male colleagues … insisting on knowing where I was,” she said.
“After I became pregnant, the abuse increased and he started verbally abusing me, making fun of me and picking on my appearance.”

Abby said the comments were demeaning and humiliating, and that at times he physically intimidated her and at other times was physically violent.

What is the connection between pornography and violence?

Abby is one of many women in abusive relationships who say their partners’ use of pornography played a role in the violence they suffered.
Meagan Tyler, a gender inequality expert at La Trobe University, looked into it as part of a study from 2020.
She found that pornography figured prominently in the experiences of women who had been attacked, although it was not definitively known whether it increased the likelihood of sexual violence.
“We know from these stories that it happens,” she told SBS News.

“It (pornography) is undoubtedly linked to sexual violence of various kinds and is linked to many forms of sexual violence and domestic violence.”

A remote control pointed at a television

Women say pornography has played a role in sexual violence in their relationships. Source: Getty / EKIN KIZILKAYA

A significant amount of pornography, particularly in the last 10 or 20 years, is likely hostile and aggressive toward women, she said.

A study published in the British Journal of Criminology in 2021 found that one in eight titles shown to first-time users on the first page of mainstream porn sites described activity that could be considered sexual violence.
Maree Crabbe, director of violence prevention project It’s Time We Talked, said much porn depicted gender-based violence.
“In most cases there is a significant level of aggression and that aggression is almost always directed at women,” she said.

There is a significant amount of aggression in the most popular mainstream porn, and that aggression is almost always directed at women

Maree Crabbe, it’s time we talk

“This includes things like choking, choking, spanking, slapping, hair pulling, name-calling, spitting.”

“This aggression in video after video… shows that violence against women is not only normal, but sexy.”

Four drivers of domestic violence

Crabbe noted that OurWatch’s Change The Story 2021 framework for preventing violence against women in Australia identified four causes of domestic violence, all of which appear to be depicted in porn.

These included:

  1. Endorsement of violence against women in society
  2. Relationships in which men have control over decision-making and limit women’s independence in public and private life
  3. The promotion of rigid gender stereotypes and dominant forms of masculinity
  4. Male peer relationships and cultures of masculinity that emphasize aggression, dominance, and control
Crabbe said these depictions in porn affect people’s “arousal patterns.”

“For example, when they masturbate to pornography, that also begins to shape sexual preferences, norms and expectations around gender and roles in relationships.”

Rear view of a woman sitting on her bed and looking out the window.

There are concerns that pornography encourages men to become violent towards their partners. Source: Getty / Alvaro Medina Jurado

“Making fun of this crime” porn videos

Although some sites say it is against their policies to provide content that constitutes a crime, Crabbe said videos showing sex with someone who is drunk, passed out, or being forced into sex because they owe money are repeatedly posted, according to Crabbe.
Websites have also posted videos without the consent of those shown.

In recent years, “step” family fantasies have become increasingly popular, involving, for example, a stepmother having sex with her stepson or activities involving stepsiblings. These videos are often referred to as fake incest or “fauxcest.”

Around 46 percent of the sexually violent videos identified in the 2021 British Journal of Criminology study were about “step” family fantasies.
A 2019 study by New Zealand’s Office of Film and Literature Classification found that “step” fantasies appear in 43 percent of the most popular videos on one of the world’s largest porn sites.
“This is a deeply damaging form of sex crime in the real world,” Crabbe told SBS News.

“Regular depiction on porn sites normalizes and often ridicules this crime, which has a disproportionately damaging impact on victim-survivors.”

Most young people watch porn

Many young men and women are exposed to pornography before their first sexual encounters.
A From 1,985 adolescents between the ages of 15 and 20, it was found that boys and young men viewed pornography an average of 3.2 years before their first sexual experience as a partner.
Girls and young women saw it two years before them.
Studies have shown that almost all young men between the ages of 15 and 29 have watched pornography, and 84 percent watched it weekly or daily.

“For a significant number of men, it has just seeped into everyday life,” Tyler said.

Young people sit at desks

Many young people watch porn before having their first sexual experience with a partner.

With so many men watching and achieving orgasm, Tyler believes it would be “naive” to say it doesn’t have an impact on people’s understanding of sexual relationships, particularly heterosexual relationships.

She said men have reported using pornography as a “manual” in some cases.
“We’ve certainly seen a huge increase in the number of women reporting choking in heterosexual relationships,” she said.

The federal government this month announced a $6.5 million pilot project for age protection technology to restrict children’s access to pornography as part of efforts to combat violence against women.

Although such technology will not prevent all young people from accessing it, Crabbe believes it could reduce unintentional exposure. Nearly half of all children who have viewed pornography say it was their first time seeing it.

She said another option to combat the harms of pornography could be a classification system similar to those of films, suggesting an age range and warning about violence and sex scenes.

Can porn be ethical?

In recent years, some producers have begun producing “ethical porn” – content produced with the consent of performers who are paid and treated fairly.
However, it has been criticized for being a marketing term that tells viewers nothing about the production of the content.
Crabbe said that while some ethical porn shows a more respectful treatment of women and a greater diversity of body types and sexual orientations, there is no certification system to determine what criteria they meet.
Some ethical porn features performers who clearly consent to sexual acts, but Crabbe said a significant level of aggression can be depicted, so it is unclear whether this would help combat gender-based violence.
Crabbe also noted that viewers often have to pay for ethical porn and that children and teenagers predominantly click on free content.

Instead, her organization works to prevent or limit young people’s exposure to pornography.

A person holds a smartphone with pictures of women

Many young people see porn by chance and often check out free websites. Source: Getty / Marcus Brandt

When asked if ethical porn had changed her situation, Abby said the debate was distracting from the discussion of how porn fetishizes violence against women.

“ are not interested in paying for ethical porn,” she said.
“If we want to end violence against women, we must have honest discussions and confront the realities of the porn industry.”

“They profit from violence against women and create a society that is sexually aroused by the violence against and degradation of women.”

Violent criminals have no interest in paying for ethical porn

Abby (not her real name)

In Crabbe’s view, porn’s business model – which focuses on profit through selling advertising, collecting data and subscriptions – creates an incentive to produce more shocking content.
“Just like social media, the way porn makes money is by capturing and maintaining a viewer’s attention – and this is often content that is somehow shocking or that pushes boundaries or social taboos.” said Crabbe.

SBS News contacted adult industry associations in Australia but received no response.

We need healthy discussions about sex

Abby, who is now 42 and escaped her abusive relationship when she was 32, said porn companies need to be held accountable.
“What happens to us as a society where we sexually fetishize violence against women?” she said.
Tyler believes pornography could also fill a void due to a lack of public conversations about good, healthy sex.
“Pornography gives us such a narrow and rather bleak idea of ​​sexuality that it would be much nicer to have a great discussion about the plethora of different and wonderful ways people can have sex in consensual, pleasurable ways that people does no harm.”
“We’re not really ready for that discussion yet and that’s a little sad.”
If you or someone you know is affected by family and domestic violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732 or drop in . In an emergency, call 000.

For advice, advice and support for men experiencing anger, relationship or parenting problems, call the Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491.

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