Dave Simpson: Kinder, gentler fan wants me dead

Time for some pithy observations, great thoughts and biting criticism from readers.

But first, a READER WARNING: This column is about various observations from various readers.

It might seem like it’s “meandering like the Big Horn River,” which is what one critic accused me of doing a few weeks ago. (He’s an avowed Biden-Harris fan. I checked.)

If you feel a little overwhelmed by the multitude of topics, you might want to skip this column and tune in again next week. Same time, same channel.

First up is a reader on Facebook who commented on a column I wrote about the different parts of the Wyoming Republican Party, from the moderates of the Wyoming Caucus to the conservatives of the Freedom Caucus (like me).

A reader named Cathi wrote the following on Facebook last week:

“Thank God people like you will soon die out and a kinder, gentler people will be able to write lyrics. Anyone who isn’t an old white man is obviously scaring the hell out of you. Goodbye.”

Cathi seems to have a problem with old white men like me. I’m 73 – an age older than what the famous Wyoming lawyer Gerry Spence once called “deep middle age.” There’s no point in denying it.

On the dangerous streets of Facebook, you rarely hear people agreeing to disagree. Something brings out the little devil on a writer’s shoulder and they skip all the friendly talk of disagreement and just want Old Dave dead.

My dog ​​Mitch (a Labrador Retriever, the Cadillac of dogs) thinks highly of me and would miss our twice-daily walks if I were dead and out in the bush.

And my sweet little granddaughters would miss the cookies we bake during my visits if I suddenly switched to my reward.

And there’s this bad news for Cathi: My mother died at 99 – six months before the first Smuckers commercial aired on the Today Show. Given her longevity, I may be around for a while yet.

Another Facebook critic, Sharon, summed up this column as: “Old far-right boomer yells at Cloud…” There’s that shocking “ageism” aspect again. Quick, someone call the DEI police!

A Facebook reader named Ted also commented critically on my defense of the Freedom Caucus: “Dave likes the Freedumb Caucus, I guess?”

I don’t know what’s stupid about spending less, not talking to kindergarteners about sex, and not harvesting organs from children in the name of transgender “welfare.” But Ted has made up his mind. The governor and the Wyoming Caucus might welcome him.

But it’s not all bad news, as our journey down the Big Horn River continues.

A Cheyenne reader named Steve had this to say about our more moderate Republican friends:

“They attack Chuck Gray, denigrate ‘newcomers’ like me who are real conservatives … and praise our governor in the Romney style.”

He wasn’t finished yet.

“The Wyoming Caucus spends money like drunken Democrats, hoards taxpayer money in their ‘coffee cans’ for irresponsible pet projects, strips the state auditor of all audit duties and then says, ‘Vote for me, I’m a conservative. Word of honor.'”

My favorite message came from a guy named Joe who lives in Pueblo, Colorado, a state that has long been overrun by rabid, freewheeling Democrats. Joe had this to say:

“Holy guacamole and jumping catfish! There are seven Democrats in the Wyoming legislature?

“Well, I hope you’ve all set up a containment field around them, or maybe put ear tags on them so you can track their location.

“I hope I get a chance after I pass, but before I take the express elevator to the basement, I want to ask someone upstairs why in the world God created things like black widows, rattlesnakes, scorpions, sharks, crocodiles, mosquitoes, and Democrats. But if I had the choice, I’d probably vote for anything in that group except the Democrats.”

This is a bit extreme, but let’s not be as harsh as Cathi and hope that Joe from Pueblo “soon dies out” and is replaced by someone “nicer and gentler.”

Poor Joe from Pueblo has been outnumbered by Democrats for years.

To quote Bill Clinton, “I feel his pain.”

You can reach Dave Simpson at: [email protected]