Can I be excused? Kill your darlings

My dog ​​Beans managed to tear his ACL while chasing squirrels in the yard. His surgery appointment was in a few weeks and after a few days of carrying the 60 pound German Shepherd mix up and down stairs, I started having severe knee pain myself.

I don’t necessarily blame the dog. This bothered me a bit before and today I have come to accept any injury I suffer as a life’s work, without any reward.

Naturally, Beans soon discovered that she could get around on three legs quite well and now I’m jealous that she doesn’t have the built-in crutches that she does. I’m not a doctor, but I’m over 50, which implies some diagnostic skills, so I’m guessing I have a partially torn meniscus. This is terribly common for people my age. I mean, if you haven’t torn a meniscus yet, are you even trying?

The strange thing about this injury is that some days I’m fine while others I spend pining for my enveloping ice pack. Of course, I would like to continue exercising and, you know, bend my knee without pain. But my understanding is that a doctor will assess my injury and my age and suggest that I can either have surgery or just deal with it, in a friendly, “you had a good race” kind of way.

It’s true, I had a good run. But like many people navigating midlife and beyond, it’s hard to be told you can no longer do the things you love to do. For example, for the last 14 years I’ve been trying to become a columnist at Atlanta Intown and it’s been a fantastic journey. But I was informed that my column would “cease” with the 30th^th anniversary issue in November. It depresses me, but at the same time, I understand.

There is a written expression that says “kill your darlings”. For me, that meant editing those passages from drafts that I thought were clever or funny but maybe didn’t necessarily serve the story. It’s never easy, but as I’ve matured as a writer, I understand the practice more and more. Atlanta Intown Paper/Rough Draft Atlanta is evolving to keep pace with current events, which makes sense in a time when this industry is extremely challenging. And in this case, it seems my column is the sweetheart meets editorial.

When raising children, the days are long and yet the years go by so quickly. Without papers, all of this could have been a blur to me. It’s still a little fuzzy, but chronicling some of the stories and thoughts along the way has made it less fuzzy. I thank Atlanta Intown for giving me this opportunity to share these essays here. And for those who are connected to these stories, let me tell you: THAT is the balm that soothes any self-doubting writer. This is why we write in the first place, so I will be forever grateful to those who read.

We don’t know what will happen with my knee, but my writing muscles should hold up for a little while longer. Right now, I don’t know where these words will live, but there will be others. Who knows? Maybe there will be another post that must do you have the monthly thoughts of a middle-aged man? I’ll add the alliteration for free!

But we still have until the November issue together. There will be a handful of other stories to tell (if they aren’t in print, they can be found online) and I’ll be sure to let you know how Beans’ recovery from surgery is going. If there are any topics you’d like me to cover or just want to say hello, send me an email. Once again, THANK YOU everyone for reading. This means more to me than you can ever imagine.