Lesbians orgasm more often than heterosexual women – our “sex scripts” explain why: study

Sex & Relationships

From Hannah Sparks

You have to be the same to understand it.

According to a new study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, the so-called “orgasm gap” between sexual partners is much smaller among lesbians than among heterosexual couples.

This doesn’t mean that men are bad at sex: “These results could be interpreted to mean that sex with men is inherently worse or that men are ‘bad lovers,’ but that is not necessarily true,” said study author and doctoral student Rutgers University Grace Wetzel told PsyPost.

Previous research has shown that a whopping 95% of men climax during sex, compared to just 65% of women. Still, 86% of women in relationships with women reported having regular orgasms when their partners were female.

Researchers found a disparity in sexual “scripts” – or “our pre-existing expectations of how a sexual encounter should typically go” – between men, women and lesbians that could help heterosexual couples close the orgasm gap.

“The orgasm gap as a cultural phenomenon has become a hot topic in recent years. We wanted to investigate why women who have sex with men tend to have fewer orgasms than women who have sex with women. This research helps us understand why women tend to have poorer sexual outcomes when having sex with men,” Wetzel said.

The study was divided into two parts.

Wetzel’s team recruited 449 women — 59.5% heterosexual and 40.5% lesbian — ages 18 and older who had been sexually active in the past year to ask probing questions about their sex lives.

Regardless of their sexual orientation, women valued the ability to achieve orgasm with their partners and desired similar experiences during sex. Unfortunately, that’s where the man and their similarities ended.

Lesbians reported receiving greater clitoral stimulation during sex – the key to triggering orgasm for many, if not most, women. They also had higher expectations of climaxing regularly than women who have sex with men and put in more work to get there. The results support the idea that lesbians are more proactive about orgasm because they expect it from their partners, while regularly disappointed heterosexual women are more likely to be discouraged by a lack of success.

“Women experience and expect greater clitoral stimulation when they have sex with other women than when they have sex with men, which helps explain the orgasm gap between these two groups of women,” Wetzel told PsyPost.

In another experiment, Rutgers researchers asked 481 cisgender bisexual women to imagine a romantic dinner scene that led to a sexual encounter with a man or a woman.

Those who were assigned a woman as their proverbial date were more likely to expect clitoral stimulation and therefore climax than those who were introduced with male partners – suggesting that women’s low expectations of men contribute to their unsuccessful outcomes.

“The problem here is the prevailing sexual script associated with heterosexual sex that does not include sufficient clitoral stimulation or sufficient focus on the woman’s pleasure. Heterosexual couples can create their own sexual scripts that work for the people involved,” Wetzel explained. “Couples can incorporate greater clitoral stimulation into their sexual encounters to create sexual relationships that are fulfilling for all partners.”

The researchers warned that the opinions shared by study participants may reflect what they think should happen rather than an accurate account of their lived experiences.

“While this study focuses on orgasm as an important sexual outcome and useful indicator of inequality, it is important to note that this is not the only sexual outcome that is important to couples and does not mean that orgasm is for good Sex” is necessary. Wetzel remarked. “When pursuing a partner’s orgasm, it is important to never put pressure on your partner to orgasm, as this pressure can make orgasm less likely and less enjoyable and can lead to negative outcomes in the relationship .”