Rekindle your sexual passion in 3 easy ways, according to a psychologist

Your relationship with your partner can experience ups and downs – reaching captivating highs and reaching troubling lows, such as experiencing a troubling lull in your sex life, feeling disconnected from your partner, or having no interest in having sex with them. This decline can be detrimental to your sexual satisfaction and overall relationship quality.

Fluctuations in sexual passion, while worrying, are normal and can be revived through conscious, concerted efforts.

“It is important to remember that it is normal for desire and satisfaction to fluctuate and that it takes effort to maintain a satisfying sexual relationship,” said Melanie Reyes, lead researcher of a new study published in Sexual and relationship therapy.

According to research, these three ways can help you achieve happiness in the bedroom.

1. Increase sexual communication with your partner

Consider Sarah, who has a strong emotional bond with her partner Jordan, but has recently noticed significant problems in their sexual relationship. She finds her time in the bedroom monotonous and feels that Jordan no longer understands her. She has difficulty communicating her sexual needs and doesn’t believe Jordan would be interested either.

If you have experienced a similar problem, then you are also facing a communication breakdown that has dampened the spark in your love life. Sexual communication involves discussing sexual desires, boundaries, preferences, and concerns with a partner to improve mutual understanding and intimacy. A 2019 study published in Journal of Sexual Research found that improved sexual communication increases sexual function, sexual desire, arousal, orgasm, and erectile function.

In addition, your partner’s responsiveness – the feeling of being cared for, understood, and validated by a romantic partner – appears to be a key factor in how comfortable you feel and how willing you are to communicate your sexual needs. A 2024 study published in Sexual and relationship therapy concludes that partner responsiveness leads to stronger sexual communication and, in turn, greater intimacy, sexual satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction.

“When a person feels cared for, understood and accepted by their partner, they are more willing to disclose more to their partner. They may also be more willing to communicate their sexual needs and preferences,” said Melanie Reyes.

2. Improve emotional connection and intimacy

Imagine Alex, who has been with his partner for five years. He feels a growing distance with Emma, ​​conversations often remain superficial. He cannot remember the last time they spent an intimate moment together or went on a date. Sexual encounters have become rare and he is troubled by the lack of passion they once had.

If you have felt a similar emotional distance from your partner, you may also be struggling with dwindling intimacy and sexual passion. A 2018 study published in Journal of social and personal relationships concluded that greater emotional intimacy leads to greater sexual desire and increased sexual activity.

You can consciously schedule quality time with your partner and use it as an opportunity to share feelings and strengthen a sense of togetherness. Doing activities together like cooking, daily evening walks, and weekend picnics can help change monotonous routines and increase intimacy. Making an effort to be there for your partner can bring you closer together and rekindle the romance in your relationship.

3. Take time to relax and reduce stress

Imagine Kate, who recently started a new job with longer hours. She is under constant stress to prove her worth and impress her boss. After work, she is so tired that she has little energy for housework, and it seems to be piling up. Her relationship is suffering because of her preoccupation with chores and work stress. She has noticed a sharp decline in her sexual desire and time with her partner.

A 2022 study published in International Journal of Advanced Studies in Sexology found that 47% of participants experienced problems with sexual desire, sexual aversion, and sexual dysfunction due to daily internal and relationship stress. In addition, a 2019 study concluded that exposure to conflict when transitioning from work to family mode decreased the likelihood of having sex on that particular day.

A consistent relaxation routine can ease the transition to relaxation and help relieve the pressure and stressors that may be affecting your sexual relationship.

Starting a routine at the same time every night can signal to your body that it’s time to relax. You can indulge in calming activities like reading, taking a warm bath, or doing some light stretching. Successfully developing a relaxing routine can create a conducive environment for reducing stress and improving intimacy, leading to a more satisfying and fulfilling sex life.

Addressing problem areas with your partner can increase intimacy and satisfaction in your relationship, turning challenges into opportunities for deeper connection and renewed passion. It’s important to embrace these changes with patience and understanding, as this can lead to a healthier, happier, and more vibrant sex life for you and your partner.

Curious about how happy you are with your sex life? Take this psychological assessment to find out: Sexual satisfaction index