Convicted of non-monogamy: Fight for sexual health care

Consensual non-monogamy is a surprisingly popular relationship style. Some research from North America suggests that as many as one in 20 people are in a polyamorous, swinger or open relationship – and one in five people say they would like to try it.

Although multiple sexual partners potentially carry a higher risk of sexually transmitted diseases, research has shown that consensually non-monogamous people are very good at practicing safe sex.

They are more likely to talk about safer sex with their changing partners. And they are much more likely to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases than monogamous people.

Access to sexual healthcare is of great importance for consensually non-monogamous people, yet as our research has shown, many continue to face barriers to accessing sexual health services.

Consistent with other research, we found that stereotypes, myths, and a general lack of understanding regarding consensual nonmonogamy all represent potential barriers to health care.

For example, when they go to their GP or a clinic for a check-up, it is not uncommon to encounter doctors and nurses who either do not understand their relationships or who actively stigmatise them. About a third of our participants never or only sometimes disclosed their relationship style to healthcare professionals.

Assumptions could be made about their relationship. One participant said: “I was not asked ‘Do you have multiple partners?’, but ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’, which was a confusing question full of assumptions.”

Or they are treated with open hostility. Another participant reported: “One (doctor) considered it a form of infidelity and domestic violence.”

In the UK, only 85% of medical students report having received training in how to deal with patients of diverse gender identities and sexualities. To our knowledge, no medical students are trained in how to deal with consensually non-monogamous patients.

This has serious consequences because a lack of understanding of consensual non-monogamy can result in patients not receiving appropriate medical care and not being able to build trust with their doctors.

Many patients even told us about frustrating interactions they had experienced due to this lack of knowledge and understanding.

I told the doctor (a woman in her 50s) that I currently have a steady partner and we are polyamorous, meaning he has other people and I sometimes have other partners. She responded by saying, “Oh! How modern! And… are you OK with that?” This wasn’t great because it made me feel judged and she went on the offensive to satisfy her curiosity.

Sometimes stigma can even lead to not getting the care you need. One participant reported that she went to her primary care doctor to get contraception, but was turned down: “The primary care doctor immediately said that I would get (STDs) because of my ‘lifestyle’ and that they couldn’t prescribe me contraception without doing an STD test.”

Not surprisingly, participants had significantly less trust in healthcare providers than the general population. Equally unsurprisingly, consensually non-monogamous people are often quite selective about where they seek sexual healthcare, as we found in our recent study.

Many of our study participants reported that they felt more trusting and comfortable in sexual health clinics that specialize in helping people with diverse sexual backgrounds. One participant even revealed: “The only place I have never been judged is in LGBT clinics.”

For others, however, the lack of options means they have to make do with what is available to them – and sometimes lie to keep things quiet. One participant revealed: “I always say, ‘My partner is an asshole and is cheating on me’ and then I get tested without there being a problem (maybe out of pity) rather than being judged for being poly.”

Breaking down barriers

To remove these barriers, it is important that doctors and nurses develop a better understanding of consensual nonmonogamy and the unique health needs of this group. But this change must come from within the institutions themselves. Many who are consensually nonmonogamous do not want to take on the role of relationship educators – especially given the potential risks of stigmatization.

Over time, general awareness and exposure to realistic depictions of consensual nonmonogamy will likely continue to grow, and perhaps one day it will even be taught as standard in relationship, sex, and health education (although current trends in sex education suggest that this is probably a long way off).

But until the myths and stigma surrounding consensual non-monogamy are dispelled, it is the responsibility of institutions to ensure that their services are inclusive.

For example, this might include using inclusive language, not making assumptions about relationship structures, or becoming familiar with terminology and practices within the community. These practices can help build and maintain trust between doctors and patients—and make it more likely that patients will receive the care they need.

The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in, or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, nor have they disclosed any relevant affiliations beyond their academic employment.

/Courtesy of The Conversation. This material from the original organization/authors may be time-sensitive in nature and has been edited for clarity, style and length. Mirage.News does not represent any institutional or party position and all views, positions and conclusions expressed herein are solely those of the authors.