Critics call US bishops’ new website on sexuality a disappointment

According to the press release, the website is aimed at a wide range of people, from catechists to “seekers” of different religious backgrounds – or even without.

But Donlon and other Catholics, including a psychologist, theologians and the mother of a transgender child, told NCR that the website contains inaccuracies, does not reflect the experiences of LGBTQ people and overall falls short of its mission to reach people with different ideological and religious views.

NCR asked Chieko Noguchi, the bishops’ spokeswoman, about these and other criticisms, but received no response. Barron did not respond to an interview request prior to publication.

Noguchi previously said committee members consulted a wide range of people, including bishops, parish priests, educators, medical and mental health professionals, and Catholic lay leaders involved in family ministry.

According to the press release, the initiative also “listened to and tried to answer the questions and concerns of people who feel uncomfortable with some of the Church’s teachings,” including “those who support the possibility of divorce and remarriage, LGBT people and those who defend pornography.”

“Love Means More” appears as Catholics express sharply differing views on transgender people. The site will replace the bishops’ website “Marriage: Unique for a Reason,” which was launched in 2010 as more states legalized same-sex marriage.

In an interview with Catholic Review Radio in the Archdiocese of Baltimore in March, Andrew Buonopane, associate director for marriage and family life in the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Secretariat for Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth, said that in designing the website, they wanted to understand “the wounds” that people “bring with them so that we don’t trample on those” and that “healing those wounds with the truth that the Church has taught and continues to teach is indeed possible.”

The way many people of faith think about gender dysphoria and sexuality is marked by vulnerability, says Julia Sadusky, a Colorado-based Catholic psychologist who often helps conservative Christian families cope with or understand the reality of gender dysphoria.

“Few people who act against the truth about human sexuality do so from purely philosophical motives,” the website’s “About” section states. “Instead, personal wounds are usually at the core of misunderstandings and mistakes.”

After studying extensive research, “the most honest and accurate answer is that we don’t know exactly” what causes gender identity disorder or a person’s sexual orientation, Sadusky said, adding that it appears to be a combination of nurture and nature.

“Once we start lecturing beyond that, I think we’re going to lose quite a bit of credibility with people who don’t already believe the narrative that these experiences are due to wounds,” she said.

Jason Steidl Jack, a gay Catholic and assistant professor of religious studies at St. Joseph’s University in New York, said he found the website’s language on the subject of hurt to be “incredibly paternalistic and condescending – as if the only reason people would believe anything other than what the bishops say is because they are broken or wounded people.”

“The LGBTQ community is not broken because of our sexuality,” he said. “We are not broken because of our gender, our gender expression, our gender identity. We are broken because we live in a world that is homophobic and transphobic.”

The topics on the site often begin with a scenario meant to reflect real-life situations. In the context of “gender discord,” a person named Rob “never felt right” about being a boy and was bullied because he was more interested in theater than sports.

The website suggests that “instead of implying that someone is a girl if they like theater more than sports,” it would be helpful for a friend to acknowledge that “Rob is a man without forcing him to conform to certain stereotypes.”

Jennifer MacNeil is a Catholic mother of three, including a transgender daughter, from New Hampshire. MacNeil read the page about gender dissonance with her sons and they all felt the narrative used outdated groups that have long been rejected by most young people, she said.

Ultimately, the website is “a slap in the face,” MacNeil said, “and encourages members of my faith community to take action against transgender people.”

Sadusky told NCR that many people without mental health training believe that gender identity disorder is caused by rigid stereotypes.

“I think we too often assume that gender identity disorder is either a purely moral problem or a cognitive problem that can be challenged,” she said. “And I don’t know anyone I’ve worked with who has gender identity disorder who would find a solution if someone just told them they could be a boy who preferred gender nonconforming activities.”

A section on divorce and remarriage discusses no-blame divorce, pointing out that it is damaging to relationships because it makes it harder for couples to have difficult conversations without fear that one of the parties might easily back out.

“In a world without blame-free divorce,” the website says, “Melissa,” the wife in the fictional scenario, might have “the reassurance that she could talk honestly with Neil about what’s bothering her without fear of the consequences.”

Sadusky said no-fault divorce has “some very clear advantages” and allows women to leave marriages marked by abuse or high conflict.

“We can portray divorce as the villain in this story without assigning blame, but I don’t think the way it’s portrayed here affects the conflict, and it can be very helpful for people to get out of an abusive dynamic,” she said.

Melinda Ribnek is a Catholic mother of eight from Savannah, Georgia, who is completing her master’s degree in clinical counseling.

In an interview with NCR, she said she was dismayed that the site suggests that consent is not always necessary in a marriage because it can interfere with intimacy. (The site acknowledges that abusers can falsely use this view to justify misconduct and stresses the need for communication.)

Given the high number of cases of domestic violence and abuse in unhealthy heterosexual marriages, this approach is “deeply irresponsible,” Ribnek said.

Donlon, who was recently hired as digital communications and programs coordinator at Catholic LGBTQ advocacy group New Ways Ministry, said she understands and can acknowledge that while the website is grounded in Christian anthropology, it does not seem to take into account the real-world experiences of LGBTQ people.

In addition, some of the philosophical arguments are confusing or use logic and language that only make sense if you already accept the teachings of the church, Donlon said, adding that she was confident the bishops could consider revising the website.

Steidl Jack agreed that the statement “love means more” is largely incomprehensible to people who do not adhere to the Catholic worldview.

“I would rather refer someone to the Catechism of the Catholic Church because it sets out the teachings of the Church very clearly,” he said.

A resource list on the website includes works on marriage from legal and theological perspectives, a parenting book co-authored by Catholic Answers apologist Trent Horn, and links to the Chastity Project and the Person and Identity Project.

Chastity Project founder Jason Evert is scheduled to speak at the National Eucharistic Congress in Indianapolis this July, sponsored by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

The Person and Identity Project, an initiative supported by a conservative think tank and influential in the church, takes up right-wing arguments and profiles controversial medical organizations. One of its founders, Mary Rice Hasson, is an adviser to the committee that runs the website.

Sadusky expressed concern that if people repeatedly search for Catholic resources on gender, sexuality and love and “only encounter apologetic themes,” they might conclude that the Church has nothing of value to offer in the pastoral area other than a “cognitive engagement with theory.”

They will feel that the church is unfamiliar with the needs beyond this and unable to provide “support in the field hospital that is our life,” Sadusky said.

“Who will come to the Church through this website, who will come to Jesus, who will come to know the richness of the Magisterium?” Ribnek added. “I don’t think it will be effective for anyone who is not already in conservative Catholic bubbles.”

Buonopane explained in the radio interview that the website does not “compromise” the truth, but also does not seek to condemn.

“I encourage pastors, parents and educators to look at the website,” Buonopane said, and provide feedback on how it could be “better tailored to their experiences or the people they interact with.”