OPINION | This Memorial Day, remember to honor the dead by protecting the living

by Michael T. McPhearson

This article was originally published on May 29, 2023 and republished in honor of this year’s Memorial Day.

Like most Americans, I’m tired of the almost daily stories of gun violence and murder. It’s overwhelming. But unlike most people in the U.S., I’ve seen the pain and suffering in the aftermath of violence. My experiences over more than two decades have shown me that the pain of losing loved ones is the same whether it’s war, street violence, police killings, mass shootings, or suicides, and people always ask, “Why?”

I have had the privilege and misfortune of meeting people who have lost loved ones to a variety of violence. It is impossible to comfort them, but any attempt is welcome. These include soldiers who have lost comrades in combat and Gold Star families who have lost loved ones in war. I have met Iraqi families whose loved ones were killed in the invasion and occupation of Iraq by U.S. troops. I have met Israeli Jews and Palestinians whose loved ones were killed in that conflict. I have met many families, mostly parents, who have lost loved ones to street and police violence. And I personally know people who died by suicide with a firearm, as well as others who have lost loved ones in the same way. All of these experiences have put Memorial Day in a different light. The killing of George Floyd on Memorial Day, May 25, 2020, made it impossible for me to separate the violence of war abroad from the violence in our communities at home. I know too much about the human suffering these deaths have caused to pretend that differences are anything more than a compartmentalizing mechanism we use to protect ourselves from deep grief and feelings of helplessness and to rationalize things to make us feel morally righteous.

Having witnessed the deep pain caused by violence and having become aware of the madness of war, I no longer accept the spectacle of Memorial Day without looking beyond it. It means so much more than a day off filled with specials, barbecues, and movies about war, where some attention is given to politicians who lay wreaths in public to show gratitude and patriotism. Yes, I still think of my comrades who died as war veterans, some of old age, others haunted by the wars they brought home. But the pain of Iraqi families that I have witnessed requires me to honor all who have died in U.S. wars, especially the civilians caught in the combatants’ crossfire. Having met an Iraqi veteran who was my “enemy” in the Gulf War, I also think of the estimated 30,000+ reported Iraqi deaths in that war, some of whom I helped kill. These enemy combatants had families who loved them, just as I did. And like me, they followed the orders of their political leaders and did their duty. It is only by grace that I am here today. I must honor that.

And because I can no longer accept that there is no connection between wars abroad and the violence in our communities, I also honor all those killed by violence here at home.

I’m not asking people to stop having barbecues or taking advantage of Memorial Day sales. If I see something I want and it’s on sale, I’ll buy it. But I’m asking you to think more deeply about the meaning of the day. I’m asking you to think and ask yourself how we can abolish war. I’m asking you to recognize how wars abroad are related to what many consider wars at home.

In the lyrics of his song “Ghetto Gospel,” Tupac Shakur wrote, “Before we find world peace, we must find peace and end the war in the streets.” He saw the connection. And since the United States, as the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said in his 1967 speech “Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence,” is still “the world’s greatest purveyor of violence” — then because of the U.S. war in Vietnam, and now because the U.S. dominates global arms sales by far and no one has dropped as many bombs on other countries in the last 20 years — there is no doubt that the violence we export abroad is a consequence of the violence we perpetrate against each other here at home.

It should be noted here that King and Shakur, two men who were at opposite ends of the spectrum in their relationship to violence, were murdered with firearms in our country.

Gene Glazier, a World War II medic and friend who died of natural causes years ago, concluded many of his anti-war speeches with this statement: “We must honor the dead by protecting the living.”

People can interpret his words differently. From the time I spent with Gene listening to his anger about war, I know he meant to say we need to save lives by finding a way to resolve our conflicts other than violence and war. That sounds idealistic, because it is. But idealism is a trait that sets us apart from the beast of nature. Striving for a higher purpose and a greater good brings out the best in us. To honor those who died in our name, we must make sure their deaths have a higher meaning than allowing us to live a comfortable material life amid ongoing violence. We must rise to the occasion and challenge ourselves to be better people.

After you’ve enjoyed your free time this Memorial Day with good food and friends, maybe bought something on sale, and hopefully honored the dead, think about what you can do to make the world more peaceful at home and abroad. Then be the peace you want to see in the world.

The South Seattle Emerald strives to create space for diverse viewpoints in our community, recognizing that differing perspectives do not negate mutual respect among community members.

The opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints expressed by contributors to this website do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints of Emerald or Emerald’s official policies.

Michael T. McPhearson is the Executive Director of the Emerald. He is honored to serve the community by listening, learning, and helping the Emerald grow sustainably. As co-coordinator of the Ferguson/St. Louis Don’t Shoot Coalition and leading a delegation to support the people of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, he recognizes the critical role of community media in social change. He has testified before Congress and currently serves on the American Friends Service Committee’s Nobel Peace Prize Nomination Task Force and a board member of the ACLU of Washington.

📸 Featured image: An Arlington West project, a memorial for members of Veterans for Peace in Santa Monica and Los Angeles, California, that is erected every Sunday. (Photo: Michael McPhearson)