In the roast, Tom Brady takes a shot at the Buffalo Bills

It almost seems like U.S. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has a sixth sense for when Off Main is watching and listening.

Schumer made a brief stop in Lackawanna Monday afternoon for a news conference on a very serious, but almost painfully dry, topic: federal funding for lead pipe replacement. As usual, the senator offered a few replies to lighten the mood. One of his employees handed him a piece of old lead pipe to use as a prop and asked Schumer if he wanted a pair of gloves to hold the crusty, dirty piece of metal.

“Gloves? Why do I need gloves? he replied. “I’m not a wimp.”

Later, Schumer introduced Erie County Deputy Executive Officer Lisa Chimera, turning to ask her how she pronounces her name. It’s “the Kim era,” she says.

Schumer once again couldn’t resist. “It’s harder than Poloncarz,” he says.

Sahlen’s hot dogs. Perry ice cream. Weber’s mustard. Galbani cheese. French Onion Dip for Bison.

These are iconic Buffalo foods that leave a hole in the heart of anyone who leaves Western New York but has found a hungry, nostalgic following in North Carolina.

Could Tim Hortons be next?

William Washington, head of real estate at Restaurant Brands International — the Toronto-based fast-food holding company that owns Tim Hortons, Burger King, Popeyes and Firehouse Subs — wrote in an email to Triangle Business Journal that the company is “looking to bringing Tim Hortons” to the Raleigh-Durham area and “is recruiting new franchisees.”

Yes, we know that Tim Hortons is TECHNICALLY not a Buffalo company.

But what does Buffalo say more than Timmy Ho?

Buffalo Bills fans wouldn’t have had a hard time deciding whether to watch the roast of retired quarterback Tom Brady on Netflix.

On the one hand, we’ve seen more than our share of Brady in the 20-plus years he led the New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, usually to victory.

On the other hand, it would be nice to see someone finally lay a glove on the guy and maybe make him feel the pain he inflicted on us and many other NFL fans during so long.

As expected, the event was marked by lots of laughter and many jokes which, even with liberal use of hyphens and punctuation marks where the letters should be, could not be repeated here.

And it also featured more than one joke at Buffalo’s expense. Perhaps the funniest/saddest was when Brady brought up the idea that he was considering becoming part owner of the Las Vegas Raiders.

“I don’t want to upset the NFL too much,” Brady said. “I’m trying to buy a piece of the Raiders. I’m tired of only owning the Colts and Bills.