Disturbing new sex trend for “stealthing”

This term has been very prominent in the headlines this week, and if you’ve never heard of “stealthing,” prepare yourself for quite an outcry.

The so-called sex trend describes when a man removes the condom during sex without his partner’s consent.

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A report published in Columbia Journal of Gender and Law states that the number of “young sexually active people” who have secret sex is growing, but the cases are greatly underreported.

Numerous women were interviewed as part of the study. “Some noticed that their partner had removed the condom at the moment of renewed penetration; others only noticed it when their partner ejaculated or, in one case, did not tell them until the next morning,” the study states.

Non-consensual removal of a condom not only puts women at much greater risk of unwanted pregnancy, but also puts them at risk of lifelong sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV and herpes.

“This person may be committing rape,” a lawyer specializing in sexual crimes told BBC“There must be an agreement that a condom will be used or that coitus interruptus will occur. If the person does not follow these rules, then according to the law there is no consent.”

There are a number of online communities full of men who defend stealthing. You might think men do it to increase their physical pleasure or for a simple (but misguided) thrill, but the forums suggest otherwise.

Many “stealthers” consider their behavior a “natural male right” and describe it as a way for a man to “spread his seed.” Some commentators even claim that women have no right to complain and should just accept this “male instinct.”

Although this is primarily a male phenomenon, there are also cases where women secretly poke a hole in a condom to dissuade a man from impregnating them.

Experts believe that the term “stealthing” trivialises the problem. “I’m always surprised when new terms like this emerge for what is really just a form of sexual harassment,” comments Katie Russell of the charity Rape Crisis.

“Giving it a term like ‘stealthing’ sounds relatively trivial. It’s a very acceptable term for something that is extremely unacceptable and actually an act of sexual violence.”

In fact, calling it a trend completely undermines the women who have experienced this blatant violation. Alexandra Brodsky, the woman behind the study, said The Huffington Post that it all started after she realized that her friends “were struggling with forms of abuse that were not considered part of the recognized repertoire of gender-based violence.”

Several anti-rape charities are calling for this non-consensual practice to be treated as rape. In January this year, a 47-year-old Swiss man was convicted of rape after removing a condom during sex with a woman he met on Tinder.

The court ruled that sexual intercourse without a condom is legally considered sexual assault if a condom was expected but not used.

If you or someone you know needs help, contact www.1800respect.org.au

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