The panic attack scene in Inside Out 2 is so hard to bear

(warning: spoiler for Inside Out 2 in advance.)

While from the inside to the outside included five core emotions: joy, sadness, fear, anger and disgust, Inside Out 2 has added a new cast to the team, including one particularly dominant emotion: fear. The film’s climax is a full-blown anxiety attack experienced by Riley – the 13-year-old in whom these emotions reside – the emotions themselves, and I, while sitting in a crowded movie theater on a Friday night.

I have some kind of undefined neurodiversity soup in my head that also includes an element of anxiety. At one point I was diagnosed with panic disorder, which I overcame with coping skills and medication, but I suffer from “generalized anxiety” on a regular basis.

I also have two children. When the first from the inside to the outside When Pixar came out in 2015, I had a baby. I saw the film in the cinema, it was one of my first trips without a baby in tow. As the Michael Giacchino theme began, baby Riley was born, Joy appeared and I burst into postnatal tears. Pixar is notorious for making people cry, especially with its music, but from the inside to the outside has always touched me. When my little darling (Chaos) was growing up, they were very similar to the character Riley: silly, sometimes sad, often angry. Now my child is about to hit puberty, just like Riley. When the Giacchino theme came up again at the beginning of the sequel, I was in tears, but I quickly recovered.

It wasn’t until the climactic panic attack that I really lost it. Up until that point, I had enjoyed the movie and laughed along with the other parents at the jokes aimed at us (Riley’s dad asks her mom, “What do you want to do this weekend while Riley’s away?” and raises his eyebrows suggestively. Riley’s mom says, “I guess we could clean out the garage?” and a distinctly adult female giggle echoed through the theater).

However, during the big hockey game near the end, Riley is put in the penalty box and begins to hyperventilate as the fear in her head crowds out all other emotions from the command center and begins to swirl around the field, stirring up a storm. At the beginning of the film, fear ripped out the beautiful, delicate “true self” that Riley had developed over her life and pushed it “into the farthest corner of her mind.” Joy tries to bring it back, but due to the chaos in the command center, including a new version of Riley’s “true self” built on the idea that she is “not good enough,” Joy falters.

I was the emoji with the two streams of tears running down her face. The stranger sitting next to me was the uncle of his child companion, which I deduced from context clues (“Uncle Josh, I have to go POTTY!”). I tried not to sob audibly because I didn’t want to scare this guy (I’ve been told more than once that my parenting experience is good birth control—see screenshot of my Facebook memory from today), and because my kids were now staring at me. My son crawled onto my lap and kissed my wet face. “Are you OK?” he asked. I felt guilty for worrying them. I tried, as Joy does, to push the bad feelings back to the back of my mind, but like in the movies, it only made things worse. I had a panic attack along with Riley.

Disney / Pixar

Then Joy said the line that broke me. “Maybe that’s what happens when you grow up. You feel less joy.” Other film critics said they could hear the adults around them crying when they said that line, but I was too preoccupied with the storm in my own head. It was almost unbearable, but where could I go?

Joy and her friends make it to the command center and Joy fights her way into Fear’s vortex. Fear doesn’t look happy with herself and is shaking as she holds onto the board in a vice-like grip. Joy tries to lure Fear away and Fear says, “I was just trying to protect Riley!”

To overcome my panic disorder, I had to accept that my anxiety was trying to help me, but there was nothing to be afraid of. I would have panic attacks every time I walked uphill in my very hilly neighborhood. My brain misinterpreted my increased heart rate as a sign that a monster was chasing me and sent me into a panic. I overcame it by taking deep breaths, accepting love from others (like my dog ​​and friends), and focusing on what was real: the smell of fresh air, the feel of the leash in my hands. Riley does the same thing. She feels her hands on her legs, sees the sun shining through the windows, and takes a deep breath. She steps out of the box and looks at the sun.

“Joy,” says Sorrow, “Riley wants you.”

Resilient child Riley desperately wanted to be happy. Fear is not a choice for her; it was invaded. But with the help of finding joy again, she was able to overcome it, make up for the pain she had caused in the process, and be happy again, even during puberty! I felt the tightness in my heart ease as Riley and I enjoyed the moment.

Then, as the movie was ending, the theme started again and my son shouted loud and clear, “There’s that music again!” He glanced at me and I laughed and shed the last of my tears before the lights came on.

Pixar recently issued a poorly received edict about how the company plans to produce universal stories versus “too specific” stories. from the inside to the outside a good example of the former and To redden And Lucas are negative examples of the latter. However, it is the universality in each of these Pixar films that really touches people emotionally. I did not know the cultural background of the characters inTo reddenbut I had a mother who struggled to accept me for who I was, which contributed to my self-esteem; like anxious Riley, she often screamed at me, “I’m not good enough.” I’m not a fish (of course), but I observed Find Nemo with my mother, just before we went to college, and we both had the universal question of how to learn to trust your child in the world.

Everything is upside down 2, from a cultural perspective, “Trauma” was specifically “for me” as a white kid growing up in the Bay Area who now has an angsty blonde kid or two. But just like those other films, its universal themes — staying true to yourself, growing up and feeling more complex emotions, and learning to use your inner resources to navigate the world and find joy — can be applied to all of us. Although I cried my eyes out during the film and writing about it afterward, I’m glad to have experienced the emotional catharsis, and I’m glad my kids got to see me go through my emotions. No word yet on whether Trauma will be a character in “Trauma.” Everything is upside down 3. If that’s the case, then we’re done for.