How Netflix’s ‘Baby Reindeer’ captures the mental state of a male victim of sexual assault

Everyone has heard about it by now baby reindeer, the gripping 2024 Netflix seven-part miniseries created and starring Richard Gadd. Based on Gadd’s own experiences, the series tells the story of Donny Dunn, a struggling comedian who becomes the target of an obsessive stalker.

The gripping series details how Dunn’s life descends into chaos when he makes the mistake of offering a lonely elderly woman, Martha, a cup of tea in the bar where he works. But behind this main narrative lies a powerful exploration of male sexual assault and society’s often problematic response to it.

Baby reindeer comes at a crucial time when discussions about sexual violence are ongoing, but male victims are still often overlooked. The show’s brutal portrayal of Donny’s experiences forces viewers to confront uncomfortable truths about society’s double standards when it comes to men who have been sexually harassed or assaulted.

Why we don’t recognize the problem

In the opening scene Baby reindeer addresses society’s toxic notions of masculinity. Donny enters a police station, desperately seeking protection from Martha. The audience watches as a dismissive cop calmly challenges Donny’s harassment allegations. The cop’s tone and demeanor make it clear that a woman stalking a man is not a case that requires immediate police attention.

This traditional assumption that men cannot be victims of sexual harassment or assault often creates a barrier to justice for male victims – it is difficult for men to acknowledge their experiences or seek help. In addition to widespread false and harmful beliefs such as “men cannot be raped”, there is another major problem that prevents men from recognizing their own sexual assaults for what they are: the perception of their sexuality.

A 2023 literature review explains how heterosexual men who were assaulted by other men avoided reporting it because they feared “their sexual orientation would come to light.” Men who identified as anything but heterosexual, on the other hand, did so out of fear of “having to come out.”

Jeffrey Ingold explores this topic in more detail in his recent Guardian “One uncomfortable reality the show brings to our attention is that it is only after Darrien’s assault that Donny begins to question his sexuality and explore his queerness. Are we supposed to pretend that abuse doesn’t sometimes precede coming out and accepting his queerness?”

Victims are plagued by deep-rooted fears of “appearing queer” and being forced to come out prematurely, leading them to deny their own victimhood and reinforcing the silence surrounding the issue.

Why the crime is not reported

The topic of sexual abuse is addressed openly throughout the series. The first example is Donny’s relationship with Darrien, a successful television writer who manipulates him and eventually rapes him.

The scene is unflinching and doesn’t shy away from portraying the complex emotions and emotional turmoil that follow this traumatic event. We see Donny grappling with the incident throughout the series and finally letting his emotions out. In one scene where he rants about being a rape victim to a room full of unsuspecting onlookers, it all becomes too much for him.

This scene will surely leave you speechless because it radiates so much emotion, but unfortunately, this is not the position most men who have been sexually abused choose. Unlike Donny, who decides to expose himself to the world, most male victims choose to remain silent about their ordeal for fear of societal repercussions.

According to the literature review, only 10 to 20 percent of all women who are victims of sexual assault in the United States report the crime, “and the number of male victims is likely far lower.” Among the myriad reasons that prevent men from reporting the crime, the most commonly cited by victims are “stigma, shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear of ridicule or disbelief, concerns about confidentiality, and concern that their sexual orientation will be questioned.”

The role of the media in shaping perception

What does Baby reindeer so powerful that it demonstrates the media’s potential to shape society’s perception of sexual assault and harassment by men. The show depicts graphic scenes of Donny’s sexual assault and Martha’s constant harassment.

To bring the true nature of the problem to light, the show shows how Donny is ignored, emasculated, and even ridiculed every time he seeks help – masterfully highlighting how differently male victims are treated compared to their female counterparts.

Through its realistic and empathetic portrayal of a male victim experiencing both rape and stalking, the show challenges viewers to rethink their assumptions and biases about male victims. It is a perfect example of how the media can lead the way in reshaping the narrative around male victims.

A 2023 article by the National Sexual Violence and Resource Center states: “Male victims of sexual violence are virtually absent from portrayals of sexual violence and harassment and, as a result, still struggle to report or seek help due to the harmful ideas perpetuated in the media.” Shows like Baby reindeer try to change this standard.

Baby reindeer serves as a powerful catalyst for examining society’s treatment of male victims of sexual violence. By portraying the complex struggles faced by the protagonist, the show highlights the urgent need to address societal ambivalence and stigma around this issue.