Experts say sexually transmitted diseases turn cicadas into “zombies”

(AP) — OK, the relationship between host and viewer is honest. Direct and to the point, so I can’t make any innuendos or get creative with today’s “what in the world” story, so here we go.

Cicadas. We already know they erupt every 13 and 17 years. A sexually transmitted disease that supposedly causes genitals to fall off has been identified in southern Illinois and is spreading throughout the Midwest… and into Chicago, where one woman, Jessica Fillibey, says, “Zombie cicadas, with no gonads and nobody needs that.”

It’s a fungal infection called Massospora Cicadina, which only affects the 13- and 17-year periodical cicadas. Still, I hope this strengthens our relationship. I’m feeling better. And a quick word to the cicada nation: take care of yourselves.