Skyler Gregg’s father ends his dead son’s Ukraine mission

KHARKIV, Ukraine — Valentina Lavrinenko, 60, fights back tears as she tries to heat up Ukrainian borscht on a small gas stove in her daughter’s apartment in Kharkiv, a city in eastern Ukraine that is hit daily by Russian bombs, causing frequent power outages.

It has been over a year and a half since Skyler Gregg, an American volunteer in the Ukrainian army, died at the front. The nearby town of Kupiansk, where Valentina lived with her husband Viktor, was under Russian occupation for seven months until the Ukrainian army expelled the Russians in September 2022.

She remembered the young American who arrived almost like a knight on a white horse. His Colgate smile and kind soul are unforgettable to her. Skyler from Washington state helped Valentina and Viktor reconnect with their daughter and son via Starlink after the 2022 liberation. Valentina’s heart melted.

“He was so nice. I showed Skyler photos of my family and he showed photos of his. He didn’t speak Ukrainian, but somehow we managed to communicate,” Valentina told The Daily Beast. “I gave him coffee, tea, soup and cookies. I even gave him some socks.”

The 23-year-old American, who died in an artillery attack about two months later, told Valentina about his desire to help the Ukrainians. Skyler showed Valentina the scars on his hands that he had suffered a few months earlier. She started to cry.

“I told him to go home. He understood me but disagreed. He just smiled,” says Valentina, who had a special relationship with Skyler. “So I told him I would pray for him.”

“He became almost like a son to me,” she adds.

Stefan Weichert

Make connections

When Russian tanks rolled over the Ukrainian border in 2022, Skyler sneaked out of his father’s house in the United States to join the International Legion of the Ukrainian Army, despite having no military experience. Steve Gregg tried to talk his son out of it, but he couldn’t.

The Daily Beast first met Skyler in a hospital in the summer of 2022 after he was wounded by a Russian drone on the front lines. He had bandages on his right arm and leg.

“I felt heat in my arm. The dogs around me were just screaming. There was a ringing in my ears and I ran to an outdoor swimming pool and closed the door. I tried to hold my arm together,” Skyler said of the attack that left one French volunteer fighter dead and another injured.

Despite his ordeal, Skyler was determined to return to the front.

“I haven’t completed my task yet,” he said in the hospital before taking part in the Ukrainian counteroffensive in September, when he helped free Valentina’s family.

Since Skyler’s death, his father has been struggling with his own problems. The loss of his son has sent him down the road to depression. Steve was considering therapy and the possibility of taking antidepressants when he managed to make contact with Valentina.

He had received her contact from another foreign soldier in Ukraine who had told him about the special connection between Valentina and Skyler. Steve wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to make contact.

When he first spoke to Valentina, Steve showed a photo of Skyler with a Ukrainian flag on his wall. Valentina burst into tears. Since then, Steve has exchanged frequent text messages with Valentina and her daughter Irina.

Stefan Weichert

A special connection

After being liberated in 2022, Skyler and his unit moved into a house near Valentina and Viktor. She continued to cook for Skyler and help whenever she could.

“When I heard about his death, I just couldn’t believe it. He was such a good boy. He only wanted the best for us. He did much more than many Ukrainians. He wasn’t afraid of anything,” says Valentina, tears running down her cheeks.

Steve Gregg

She shows The Daily Beast a water bottle and a towel she got from Skyler. Valentina gave him a few small gifts. She couldn’t stop crying when she saw Skyler for the last time in Kupiansk, as if she knew it would be the last time. Again, Valentina tried to convince the young American to go home to Steve and his mother, but she couldn’t reach him.

“I told him to take care of himself. And don’t forget me,” Valentina says, adding that Skyler keeps smiling at her. “I’ll be here if you need me. I told Skyler that.”

Steve, 58, who had only sporadic contact with Skyler after arriving in Ukraine, said: “I am so grateful to Valentina. That she was able to be there for Skyler when I couldn’t. It’s like she was the one who was able to say goodbye to Skyler… I lost my son, but I got a new family. It gave my life a new meaning.”

Steve, who is divorced and also has a daughter, has begun supporting Valentina’s family’s entry to the United States through the Uniting for Ukraine program, which enables Ukrainians fleeing war to come to the United States with a sponsor.

“It helps me to know that I can help them,” Steve says. “The war is just so terrible. It’s evil. It’s hell. It’s just horrible in every way. I have to do something.”

Steve, who used to be an engineer, says Skyler always wanted to help people and embrace the world without thinking about the consequences. Steve, who had to quit his job after being diagnosed with cancer several years ago, is now cancer-free and is starting to look for jobs so he can better take care of Valentina’s family when they come to the United States.

“I’m trying to speak Skyler’s language now. Do what he would do,” says Steve. “Not everyone understands me, but it’s something I really want to do.”

Steve Gregg

New future

Back in Kharkiv, Valentina’s daughter Irina says Skyler has had a special impact on her mother. Her father is still in Kupiansk, taking care of the house, even though the Russians are only five miles away. Steve is keen to give them the opportunity to hide from Russian missiles in the safety of the United States.

“My father really wants to go to America. He dreamed of it before the war. But my mother and I are afraid,” says Irina, worried about the language barrier and saying goodbye to Ukraine.

Valentina says Skyler’s death created a special bond between her and Steve.

Even if they don’t make it to the United States, she hopes they’ll meet one day. She’ll invite him to Ukraine after the war, show him where they lived, and tell him stories about her meetings with Skyler.

Steve explains that just being in contact with the Lavrinenko family means a lot to him.

“All this has given meaning to my life and I’m trying to sort everything out. But when they come, I will do everything I can to help them learn English and find a job,” says Steve, who would also like to travel to Ukraine in the future.

“You know, this Ukrainian family is like a gift to me. All of this has saved me from depression. I had lost the ‘why’ in my life. I got it back,” he says. “I will always be grateful for that.”