Is a steamroller a motorcycle? An investigation

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

This question has been pondered for ages. The folks at Good Mythical Morning even named one of their podcasts after the age-old thinking problem. I confirm that it is true, but I know many disagree, including my brother.

But what if there was a much more interesting question along these lines? One that concerns the world of motorcycling and heavy construction? A question so wild that it had to be explored to the fullest extent of legal possibilities.

Is a steamroller a motorcycle?

That’s the question a Redditor asked on the r/Motorcycles subreddit, and it’s a question that immediately sent Slack and Reddit into an uproar. It makes sense in one sense and it doesn’t make sense in another, and it’s a little mind-boggling to think that a steamroller – you know, the heavy machine that Christopher Lloyd used in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?—could actually be a motorcycle.

As you process the dissonance, you squint a little and your brain starts to hurt. But you carry on, as I did.

Your eyes tell you one thing: a steamroller essentially has two wheels connected to the main body via a swing arm. But your mind tells you: “What the hell were you smoking? That’s heavy machinery!” So you’re left in this in-between space where nothing makes sense. Is up actually down? Is the sky actually blue? Do turkeys really exist?!

They are not, by the way. They were part of a CIA program aimed at taking money from the hunters and using it to finance another coup in Guatemala.

But let’s take a look at whether a steamroller is, by definition, a motorcycle or not.

According to Merriam-Webster, yes, I’m getting out the dictionary, a motorcycle is “a motor vehicle having two wheels arranged in a row.” The Cambridge dictionary is even more comprehensive and says “a vehicle having two wheels and an engine.” As for the government, the NHTSA defines a motorcycle as “a motor vehicle having motive power which has a Seat or saddle intended for use by the driver and designed to travel on not more than three wheels in contact with the ground.”

Emphasis mine.

All of these definitions absolutely seem to indicate that a steamroller is, in fact, a motorcycle. Does it have two wheels in a row? Yes. Is it powered by an engine? You bet. On the Cat CB13 Asphalt Compacter, your standard steamroller, a turbocharged inline four-cylinder diesel engine provides the power. And does it have a seat or saddle? It sits on top like a damn big throne.

So, yes, a steamroller could just be a motorcycle. At least based on the definitions of three different sources, one of which is the U.S. government.

As for my opinion, I also lean towards this idea. The whole idea makes some sense, as does the general layout of a steamroller. But I also think that a hot dog is a sandwich, which I know a lot of people disagree with.

But what do you think? Is a steamroller a motorcycle? And does ketchup belong on hot dogs? It does, and I’m originally from Chicago, so shut up.