“I return the shame to you”

A woman who was raped after a night of drinking has said she wants to “support and advocate for other victims of sexual violence” because she is aware that not all victims live to see their attacker convicted.

Bláthnaid Raleigh waived her anonymity so that 26-year-old Jonathan (aka Johnny) Moran could be named in reporting on the case.

Moran, of Tower View, Mullingar, Co Westmeath, was found guilty by a jury at the Central Criminal Court on 21 July 2019 at a garden shed in Galway of the section 4 rape of Ms Raleigh by penetrating her vagina with an object and of aggravated sexual assault by penetrating her anus with an object.

Defence lawyer Fiona Murphy SC said her client had “faced the case with difficulty” but now accepted the jury’s verdicts and was remorseful.

The court found that he has no criminal record and comes from a good, hard-working family.

Mrs Raleigh is also from Mullingar and Moran played rugby with her brothers at the local club.

She had been attending the Arts Festival in Galway with a friend when they happened to meet Moran and other people from her hometown.

The rape occurred after Ms Raleigh returned with Moran and several other young people to the rental apartment where Moran and his friends were staying that weekend.

Moran claimed that the sexual acts that night were consensual and denied that he used any paraphernalia in the assault on Ms Raleigh.

During a forensic examination of the shed, her DNA was found on three bottles.

The court found that Ms Raleigh had suffered serious physical injuries which required months of treatment on the sexual offences unit.

Ms. Raleigh read her victim impact statement.

She said she did not feel comfortable using the word rape until she received “the court’s validation,” but the conviction at trial now allows her to use it.

She told Moran she would “return the shame to you.”

She said that before the attack she was a typical 21-year-old in her final year of college, “finding her feet in adult life”, and described herself as “carefree and fun-loving”.

She said her life was “completely destroyed” after the attack.

Ms Raleigh referred to the physical injuries she suffered as a result of the attack, which resulted in her requiring “invasive and sustained” treatment in the sexual assault treatment unit for months.

“It was a constant and physical reminder of the damage that was being done to my body,” she said.

She said she still suffers from the pain of those injuries and described “endless sleepless nights, vivid nightmares and flashbacks.”

“I don’t enjoy general things anymore – my body doesn’t enjoy new things anymore,” Ms Raleigh said.

She said the attack “still haunts my daily life” and she fears that “men see her as damaged goods.”

Ms Raleigh said the attack had “destroyed my life because someone chose to hurt me”, adding that she no longer enjoys going out because she is constantly worried about the safety of those around her.

She said that she never felt safe, but that Moran has been “living a normal life since the incident.”

Ms Raleigh said her family had been her greatest support before she realised the impact the attack had on her life.

She said her brothers had left the rugby club they had played for for 20 years because Moran was at the same club.

She said she experienced “fear, anger, sadness and loss.” She said the process “felt so pointless” at times, but she was so grateful to “those 12 people who believed me.”

Ms Raleigh said she hoped to be a “support and advocate for other victims of sexual violence” before acknowledging that some people do not get as far as she did and her attacker is convicted.

Ms Raleigh thanked the Rape Victim Crisis Centre and the Gardaí.

“There are physical and emotional scars that need to heal,” Ms Raleigh said, adding that when she tells people what happened to her, they tell her how strong she is.

“I don’t want to be strong. I feel cheated because this is my life,” Ms Raleigh said, before describing how something can trigger her, leading to trouble sleeping.

She said she is now moving on to the next phase of her life.

Judge Tony Hunt revoked Moran’s bail and remanded him in custody pending sentencing on July 1.